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    SARAHTAIT   175,167
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Life is crazy!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Have you ever looked up and realized you've been running full steam for a long while? No down time or relaxation in sight? How does life get this crazy? I feel pulled in so many directions and there is only one of me! I've got to figure out how this is happening and what I can do to change it! My goal is simplicity, a quiet simple lifestyle! I'm going to evaluate things and figure out what I can do to remove some of the complications from my life. having Jesse in a nursing home and aging parents that need help makes that hard, but I've got to find some me time somehow! Any suggestions?
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTUPTON 4/23/2011 12:23PM

    Sarah--- how about making 2 columns: one for what you have done for others today and the other for what you have done for yourself? Even those thoughts rolling around in your head--planning for others or planning for yourself. If you are praying how to handle all this put it in the "Sarah" column. Love you. Sending prayers, Chris

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THENEWME43 4/1/2011 7:14PM

    Praying for you, Sarah!
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SANDYBRUNO 4/1/2011 7:01PM

    It is so hard Sarah to find me time. Do you have any children close by that could help you out? If not maybe some Church friends would be willing to help you. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask some friends for help. I'm sure they would be glad to. You need some time too. You need to keep yourself in good shape or you won't be any help to anyone. I will keep you and Jesse in my prayers. May God continue to watch over you and bless you.

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GGRANLDY 3/31/2011 8:12AM

    Sarah I will lift you up in prayer that you will find the Me time you need. God Bless you and keep you! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SING4MYFOOD 3/30/2011 8:55PM

    Sarah, praying for you that you can find the "me" time that you need. You know, as a nurse, that it's always said "Take care of yourself first," & "Who's going to care for the caretaker?" But we as nurses (at least we "old timers," anyway) tend to jump when someone starts even looking for a frog! So it's something that we have to fight to overcome - but we must, & you, especially need to now. You have too many things to deal with, on top of fibro.

I agree with ONBEACHSIDE - she has some really great suggestions. There are some other good ones in here too, but perhaps joining the caretakers team will help you the most - who knows, you may even find someone there that you can meet & sometimes pair up to decrease each other's load! And maybe someone in your church would be willing to lend a hand?

Take care, my Sister - praying you can relax & smell the roses soon.

Love,

KerolynR>



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ONBEACHSIDE 3/30/2011 12:00PM

    Sarah,

They tell caretakers to set aside an hour of the day for themselves. They make it sound so simple, but in reality I could never do that. You have a strong faith, so I bet that will help you some. I had to be a caregiver to four family members until their deaths, one right after the other. I found myself drowning. You may already have joined the caregivers group here at SP. I saw there was one, but I was done by the time I found SP. See if they can give you some valid suggestions.

My biggest suggestion is not to hint to family that you need some relief, they tend to have "things" going on 365 days 24/7. You have to come right out and tell them, "I need you here this weekend for the whole weekend, it is the least you can do(guilt) and I am desperate and cannot take no for an answer." If they truly have a date they can't get out of force a conccrete day ASAP.
For some reason, once one family member takes on the responsibility, few have family members who will do meaningful relief from my experiences. I believe I really have a caring family but they just don't want the responsibility of the care. And like I said hinting didn't cut it. If that seems too much try asking a family member, neighbor or friend to give you a three hour break once a week. I believe that most people are kind. We see in a national disaster how people come together. So, let your friends know you need a pressure release valve. You may well find that your friends will pull together and take turns to give you at least a three hour bbreak once a week. Then when all is settled in your life, you can payback the goodness. Say NO to anything extra that is pulling you away from any possible free time you might get. No need for excuses, just tell them you can't make it because you need time for yourself to recoup.

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CTUPTON 3/30/2011 6:09AM

    Sarah, I am sure you automatically go to everyone's aid the second you hear they need anything. You are a wonderful caring person. I am giving you permission to take care of yourself, too. You are also an important person to those around you. Having you stressed and brittle won't help them either. Deep breaths and get the focus back inside you. And don't feel guilty about it. Shut the world out for a few minutes. The world won't fall apart in that amount of time. What does Sarah need? A warm bath or shower and an inward focus might do it for this minute. Seek out someone who you feel good to be with or just chat with over the phone. Get your strength back. What reading material do you have about pampering yourself?
Again, it's OK and don't feel guilty about it. You deserve to be taken care of, too. Love, Chris

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 3/30/2011 2:11AM

    You are in my thoughts and prayers, Sarah. I would love to be able to come and help you...oh that I lived closer to you. You do need to find some time just for you to relax and recuperate...not only physically but mentally also. Eventually your body will take over and shut down just because you need the rest. I am praying for you that the Lord will help remove some of the complications in your life and will give you the strength you need to take care of you first and foremost.
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

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ZELLAZM 3/29/2011 5:27PM

    I'm reading the posts here to get some ideas for myself! Praying for some good insights for both of us!

Blessings
Michelle

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REYNJANET 3/29/2011 3:02PM

    Sarah, I don't have any answers either except just revamp priorities and do it! I found out the hard way last Oct that if you don't your body will! Mine just completely shut down and I had to stop and rest. Please take care of yourself

Hugs and prayers

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RURAL3 3/29/2011 2:18PM

    Sarah I am praying that God will send you people and resources to lessen the load. You do need to find time for yourself or you will poop out. Just know that it all won't fall apart if you take a couple of days for yourself. You might think it will but it won't. God has you in the palm of His hand.

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NEWLIBRARIAN 3/29/2011 8:30AM

    Don't know the answer but I can pray that you find time for a little R&R too. Best to you.

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SMIDGON 3/29/2011 7:32AM

   

I've had some experience dealing with a hubby with health problems and at one time an aging Mother who wanted a piece of the pie. My mom was quite demanding~

Wish I could guide. Just ask me.

You know how to get ahold of me!

~+~
God Bless
Janet

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SUNRISE14 3/29/2011 6:46AM

    Let me know when you get it figured out ! emoticon I can't get any me time either and don't know where the days go ! The only pleasure time i get is here on spark and sometimes get tired of doing that ! emoticon

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TELLITFORWARD 3/29/2011 1:10AM

  Oh, Sarah! You've been the Energizer Bunny for so long, that I think we need to pray for you to have peace when you aren't going full speed!
I sympathize so much about the aging parents. There is a down side to being close, and one for being far away. I get all bent out of shape, because most of those nearby are doing nothing to help. Praying for wisdom and your ability to let some things go. I know you love time with your mom, but could someone else do some of the shopping with her, even if it is a mom with schoolage kids who is at home? It might be that you can then do just more fun stuff with her. Don't really have answers. Just a big cyber hug going your way.
Kate

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JENNIW70 3/28/2011 10:36PM

    Praying for you Sarah!

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CHRYS13 3/28/2011 9:43PM

    Seek God....pray. The answer will come.

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HEALTHY4ME 3/28/2011 6:33PM

    Not sure I will be much help as that is how I have felt for while now, but dad just got all his vetrans stuff so will have someone come clean, ect. which will save me time and guilt! LOL
What about taking one day and not visiting anyone and not worrying about household stuff and just rest, mabye massage whatever you can afford or coffee with a friend, or sit and read a book, knit whatever.
And perhaps maybe take one morning or whatevr to get your parents groceries or whatever. write it out on paper. and try to arrange it. either you have a busy day and a light onea nd a day off or really push it all in one so you can be less on other days.
\HUGS as you figure it out but as you well know if the caregiver burns out.......... so take care of YOU!!!

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GOANNA2 3/28/2011 4:32PM

    You definetely need some "me" time.
I am so sorry that you have so much on your
plate. I will pray for you and hope you can find
some time to yourself. emoticon

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LACEEJO11 3/28/2011 3:46PM

   
I will pray for GODs divine wisdom in this Sarah! GOD is very creative and HE thinks outside the box, plus HE sees things a total different way than we do!
I completely understand because I also live my life as simply and peacefully as possible. That can make it hard when the storms of life hit...you have been hit with a double whammy!


GOD, please open doors to Sarah, that will bring about some immediate relief for her! She is so devoted and trying to do it all. FATHER, we just place this in YOUR hands and ask that YOU would shine YOUR divine light on anything at her disposal that will help her...possibly things we are not even aware of ....exist that would help her! Cause someone to come alongside her and offer help, that she can rely and depend upon. We thank YOU oh GOD, in advance! Please help Sarah find some quality of life for herself in the midst of all her challenges! Bring a measure of love and hope to her also. Sometimes when we are giving and giving, we become depleted in our own spirit! Replenish her OH FATHER, we lift up our sister to YOU, and we trust that YOU will intervene! We give to YOU all the PRAISE, GLORY, & HONOR forever and ever!!

AMEN & AMEN


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Comment edited on: 3/28/2011 3:48:44 PM

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3GKIDS 3/28/2011 1:56PM

    Sarah,

I think that abaker34 has part of the answer for you. When my parents were alive, I hired sitters to cover different parts of the day. It's an expensive option, but we found help from the VA. Daddy served in WWII, and there is a lot of help for those vets.

Help is based on income in so many areas. Takes some work getting it set up, but gives some relief.

Do you have to be at NH all day?

Love you, Ruth

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DAISY443 3/28/2011 1:35PM

    Stop, re-evaluate. Can you set up a schedule for yourself and pretty much stick to it? Write it down and keep rearrangeing until it works for you. Maybe a few days of a strict schedule with "self time" built in would help. Hugs!

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ABAKER34 3/28/2011 1:26PM

    I am starting to find my "me" time by exercising. After my hubby and I get off work, he can watch the kids. Then I zone out with Ipod.

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