Monday, March 28, 2011
The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)
- In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
- Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
- Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears.
- Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
- The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
- Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
- Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
- Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.
- The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
- Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to find the ten commendments.
- The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery".
- Moses died before he ever reached Canada.