Friday, March 25, 2011
Ok. I've taken the time to stop and I see the destructive pattern. I'm in an emotional eating slump. This is what is getting me so down. I'm in that "well I've made one mistake, might as well keep going" phase. I went to the store to get wrapping paper and ended up making a snack run as well. I had a bowl of ice cream today for my 3:00 snack and followed it up with gold fish. The more I think about it, the more I see how this is creating my other problems.
Who wants to work out when they feel like a big blob? When I eat a lot my workouts stop feeling effective and start feeling like the only thing combating my calorie intake. It's not a great feeling. I mean I'm already not even close to burning my weekly calorie goals. No wonder I can't lose any weight. So might as well keep eating? I know it's messed up. I see that it's not right, yet that is how my mind is currently wired.
I know eating habits can affect your sleep habits too. I'm sure all the extra sugar isn't helping. Plus I'm not working out (or I'm stuck working out late at night) and that keeps me from sleeping well too.
So it all comes down to food. FOOD. AHHH. It always comes down to food. Has anyone tried hypnosis? Because sometimes I feel desperate enough to try it. I know I have to rewire my brain. I know I have to think about food differently. I know I know I know! But it's just not that easy!!! AHHH!!! I'm so frustrated! I keep hoping beyond hope that when I live alone I'll do better. But will I? Does the situation matter if my relationship with food is the real problem? I know I'm in control. I have the little voice that says "you don't have to eat this" but I always beat it down. Stupid voice. Why shouldn't I eat what I want? ugh.
Ok I know I know. Don't be so hard on yourself. But I feel like I need some tough love. I see the problem, but have yet to overcome it. I hate that feeling. I read so many stories about people who finally decide to take control. They decide and they do...but there are never any details on how they do it. Is it supposed to be a constant struggle every day? Is it because I hate cooking and I get bored with the 3 things I know how to cook? What am I supposed to do here!?
I wish it were as easy as deciding to make a change. Or as easy as getting educated. But no matter how much I want to resist the ice cream. No matter how many stories I read about how bad it is for me, I never resist. How do you rewire the way you think? How do you train yourself to know that food will still be there tomorrow. You don't have to eat it all tonight? How do you do it?
I guess that is my ultimate question. How do YOU keep those cravings under control? What are your tricks and tips? I really need some help here. It was emotional eating that got me into this mess. Unfortunately it can't help me out of it. No one emotionally eats veggies. If only.
Happy Weekend. Thanks in advance for reading my rantings and any advice you might have.