Monday, March 21, 2011
In 5th grade, my teacher showed us a calculator trick that somehow ended with our weight appearing on the screen. That was the first tim I remember being self-conscious about that number. I've wanted to lose weight ever since.
like many, I've tried and failed. and then tried and failed again. I would start out so strong and determined, but it often took mere hours for that determination to fall and for me to give up.
I wasn't emotionally ready. I wasn't ready for the commitment, I wasn't ready for the lifestyle change. I was afraid. I was afraid of the person I'd become when I lost weight... I was afraid of not being able to hide. It was like I had a security blanket by being overweight. It's not logical. I am aware. But I think that's the reason why I just couldn't get myself to commit. I didn't have to worry about guys not liking me because it was expected. I could use my weight as an excuse for why I didn't have a boyfriend or why I had trouble making friends with new people.
It's stupid, really. And it's not like I didn't have a ton of friends or never dated. I'm not sure what had to click in my head to make me emotionally ready, but something changed.
For the first time, I can picture myself at a healthy weight. I can hear myself telling people my weight loss story. This feels like the moment my life will change. And for the first time, I'm motivated to be healthy, not thinner. I want to be able to go hiking with my friends without getting winded and making them slow down (true story). I want my parents to be proud of me. I want to be proud of myself. I want to have the confidence to approach someone without feeling like all they see is that I'm overweight.
I've always wanted those things, but I've never been ready to commit to the changes that need to take place for me to achieve them.
So, are you emotionally ready? Because what I've learned is that losing weight won't happen unless you're emotionally ready for it. Incentives, for me at least, dont work because what other incentive is better than being the weight you desire? You have to be ready to commit. You have to be able to visualize the person you want to be, but understand what it takes to get there. Whenever I start to get lazy and stop wanting to go to the gym, I tell myself that I want to be an active, in shape person, and I need to suck it up through every gym session in order to be that person.
You have to be ready for the changes that are about to take place. Because they will be great, and they're part of the necessary steps towards becoming the person you want to be.