It is not dramatic. And the last few months incredible progress have rooted strongly in me the confidence and trust, that I will be able to reharmonize all the new things that have entered my life with the previously acquired new skills and routine.
I have decided that steps back do not exist. What we call wrongly a step back is a DELAY or PAUSE that we can use to assimilate, integreate, rethink replan, relearn.
Life is too complex to expect to get it the first try. So its about continuing and appreciating what has been done and what is been given to us.
So here are the symptoms:
- I forget systematically to take my medication
- I have skipped doing my bed for a few days
- I have reverted to unhealthy bed routines
- I have experienced food compulsivity
- I have skipped logging in my food
- I have skipped brushing my teeth
- I have lost the ability to just go and sleep when needed.
- I stopped doing my brain training system
This has occurred because 2 major changes have happened in my life, I have started working and I have a boyfriend (although that has brought a lot of joy and motivation in my life).
Also, several lingering issues have unblocked with actions to be taken with respect.
The new job means adaptation, new routines, a learning curve
AND of course, I am still late in things I had undertaken when I was unemployed: making my vision board, establishing a routine (which I could not really do because I did not know what space work would take and now, cuz i'm too overwhelmed to find the time to do the planning!)
And I am going to cut this short cuz I have work for work to do and my tax papers to do urgently cuz i have a hearing wednesday with respect to the injustice I had to suffer during the last 6 months (wealfare refused because I had roommates to help pay the rent). I wish there were like, 10 more hours a day for the next week or so so that i could do all there is to do AND rest cuz i desperately need it!
Anyhow, I have started to introduce back some good things:
Since ashes wednesday, I have started reading the evangile (st-Luke) in the morning and the coran at night. First year that I do something specific for careme. Just felt right. And last week I discovered the church on the corner of my street. The community and service is so amazing, my only regret is not having been there before!
like this morning I went to church. Some meditation, singing and gratitude nourishes the soul and gives courage.
I also took my chocolate shake (it has been almost 2 months that i stopped taking it - since I wake up early, I can't wake up the roommates with the noise of the blender - I know i could do it at night but it does not taste as good as when frosty with frozen fruits.
I know I HAVE TO GET TO making my routine calendar. Will see
what I can do.