Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    WILLOWWINDS  
SparkPoints
 
 

~** GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE ? **~


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Happy Sunday!!


The weather here is back to the 50's but still warm enough not to use the heater. Yeah!

I have been eating so much cabbage lately from the pot Linda (my nurse) made and my sister sent some down. But, I love it. Not even sick of it yet. I give the ham and potatoes to the dogs and then I eat the cabbage and green beans with vinegar. Yummy.


My DH is acting like a nut case. He has been playing facebook games and is really addicted to it. Which is good because he is the type who always has to be busy. He is pretty funny this morning he was actually doing some sort of Irish Jig. LOL He get all hyper and in a good mood. When he gets this way he is all silly and I think he forgets that I am watching. Really wish I had a video camera. It would be so funny to share.


So as for my title. I don't plan to divorce my husband or have him locked up in the loony bin. Ha!


The title of my Blog is for this joke I found. Below that is Song of the Day and a Child's Bible in a nut shell. Enjoy!













~** GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE? **~



A woman goes into her lawyers office requesting a divorce. He is taking all of her background information and asks her, "Do you have grounds for a divorce?"



To which she replies, "Well, we have three acres."


"No, ma'am. What I mean is, does he beat you up?" asks the attorney.


"No, I get up around 6:30 and he sleeps until 7:00," she responds.


Feeling a little frustrated the attorney asks, "Lady, tell me, do you have a grudge?"


Looking very confident she states, "No, we have a carport."


At this point the lawyer has lost his patience and asks, "Look, Lady. Why the heck do you want a divorce?"


"Because 'he' can't hold an intelligent conversation!"














www.youtube.com/watch?v=
8Wz-6bmy7TY&playnext=1&lis
t=PLAB270C2BC8B6A3AD














Children's Bible in a Nutshell
~Author Unknown


A child was told to write a "book report" on the entire Bible. This is amazing and brought tears to my eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching??? Through the eyes of a child . . . .


In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.



He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.



Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his broth er as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.



One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.



After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.



Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.



Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother. One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.



After Joshua came David He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.



After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.



After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')



During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.



Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.



Any way's, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.







SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAZ5346 3/22/2011 1:47PM

    Oh I loved the child's interpretation of the Bible. Thank you for the smile.


Carol

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRAVEONE92 3/20/2011 11:33PM

    Thanks so much for all of the entertainment today. It
was all wonderful. Loved the song.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEE107 3/20/2011 9:49PM

    thanks for sharing and love your song for the day

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUGARSMOM2 3/20/2011 5:25PM

  through the eyes of a child . wonders to behold . children are wonderful . sounds like your hubby is a fun kind of guy. you win on all counts emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIZBUCK1 3/20/2011 5:21PM

    Thanks for making me smile. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
THINMAMAWARD 3/20/2011 4:43PM

    Both diddy's are cute, love them. As for the dh would like to see the jig next time around.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANNIEJEFFRIES 3/20/2011 4:34PM

    Oh how very precious and funny. Children are terrific. I used to teach Sunday school when my children were little and I remember a few conversations similar to this story. LOL

Have a great day!
Annie emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISAWILLBEFIT 3/20/2011 4:29PM

    I think it is great that you husband wakes up so happy.I loved the story and the joke.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLYER99 3/20/2011 3:30PM

    Hi Willow! Wow, I loved both stories. Hilarious. You make my day. Have a wonderful first day of Spring! God Bless! Bob.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LUNADRAGON 3/20/2011 3:06PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Very cute!

Report Inappropriate Comment
50HARLEYGIRL 3/20/2011 2:07PM

    emoticon thank you I really needed to laugh today.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOJAVESMITH 3/20/2011 1:52PM

  Very cute

Report Inappropriate Comment
CONTENTCHRIS 3/20/2011 12:34PM

    You do such a great job! Thanks for the giggles and laugh. You do have a gift for real ! Dances a Gig as he knows she is not watching.... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HARTKITTY 3/20/2011 12:27PM

    emoticon
These are great especially when it comes to having an inelegant conversation

Report Inappropriate Comment
THOMS1 3/20/2011 12:04PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STEVENGO2 3/20/2011 11:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
2BEHEALTHYAGAIN 3/20/2011 11:12AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Love this blog--lots of chuckles. So glad Mr. Willow had a good day. He sounds kind of like my husband. Hope things are going well for you.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSPEACHES3 3/20/2011 11:08AM

    Very Good. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WARMSPRINGDAY 3/20/2011 10:46AM

    emoticon
Love it

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.