Saturday, March 19, 2011
It took me ... 10 years? to quit smoking. It took so long to make that life style change. I tried again and again and just remained a smoker. I learned a lot about myself in the process. I learned about my own habits and what drives me. I learned to be patient with myself. I learned that I can succeed this time even if I didn't last time. I learned that change takes time.
I evolved from being a smoker to being a runner. It took about the same amount of time for me to feel like a runner. Even though I don't run every day, or even every day that I think I ought to or want to, I still have come to identify myself as a runner. I still envy the muscled and toned bodies I see running on the road or on tv, and I'm not nearly there yet. "Yet" is important. I have a long way to go, and I'm going. If it were short and easy it wouldn't be worthwhile.
I'm proud and at peace to say that I've come to have the perspective on my weight-loss journey that is similar to that of quitting smoking and becoming a runner. It's going to take a long time to get fit and not flabby. It's going to be hard. I'm not going to be doing it every day, or even every day that I think I ought to or want to. I will be patient.
And just like being a runner even if I don't always act like it, I am making myself better and reaching my weight-loss goals even if I'm not always being perfect. In fact, occasionally I still think how nice it would be to have a cigarette and enjoy it, just like occasionally I would rather do anything rather than run. Even once I succeed in my goals I'll still forever be reaching them.
So I've stopped looking for the end marker in this journey, and have begun just looking around and enjoying it instead. It's going to be a long life of making the most of myself, and I'm looking forward to it.