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    VIRGO_QUEEN   15,497
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints

Letting go....

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

How do you let go of someone who is a burden? I have a friend that I have been best friends with for almost 10 years, since 8th grade. Lately, I have been on this journey to discover myself, to find out who I really am. And I have realized that this person is not really my friend. For the past 10 years, this friendship has been one-sided; I have always been there for him, but he has never been there for me. I feel like I'm his shoulder to lean on, but when I have a problem or when I need a shoulder, he does nothing for me. Every conversation we have is about him, his problems, and what's going on in his life. My situations never come up unless I force them into the conversations. And even then, we spend about 5-10 minutes discussing them and then we move onto his issues.

Over this last 10 months on SparkPeople, I have discovered a lot about myself. One thing I realized is that I really don't know who I am. In the past, I have formed my identity through this "friend." I guess that's why I put up with this one sided friendship for so long. But I'm moving past that. I need to get him out of my life.

So my question is, How do you let go of someone who has been in your life for so long? What do you do? Do you slowly pull back? Or do you confront them upfront? i'm not the type of person who likes to hurt people I'm so close to. Or people who have been a big part of my life. So what's the best way to go about this?

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MY_HEALTH_BABY 3/18/2011 1:36AM

    Ask yourself if you even LIKE your friend. If the answer is "yes", don't give up the friendship, if it's NO, then honesty is the best policy. Write it down in a letter if you can't bring yourself to initiate a face to face. I'm talking old-fashioned handwriting letter. No email, no texts. Find the courage or else you'll go through life forming the same weak relationships and feeling stepped on. emoticon

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JILLIBUG07 3/17/2011 3:10PM

    Wish I had some advice. I have the same issue with someone very close to sister. I have simply distanced myself from her, because the people pleaser in me just can't confront her. Just remember to always put yourself first. A friendship isn't really a friendship if it's one sided. Good luck to you, and huge hugs!!

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AUNTB63 3/17/2011 9:11AM

    I would be up front with this "friend". Even in friendships YOU have needs too! Tell him how you feel (make sure he is paying attention) and if he can't respect you and your thoughts and feelings than he is not worth having around. YOU are your own person not an extension of some one else. This won't be easy, so do this on a day that you are feeling strong because you are worth it. I'm hoping he will at least listen and show some respect. emoticon

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