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    ERINBEAR1876   27,451
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The beginning of being 100% and facing a bit of my past today.


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

For the B2W (Balls to the Wall) challenge I am in, we were challenged to spend an hour this week doing a cardio that was our third favorite, so I did an hour on the elliptical machine (third fave behind running and spinning) this morning to get that out of the way.

I got a call last night from Nick (my prospective personal trainer). He talked with me a bit about what I wanted from him, and he then talked about how he is going for total body strengthening, but will be focused primarily on my lower body because I am a runner. Second will be core, and third will be upper body.

I told him I will only be meeting with him once a week for the beginning because I just can't afford more than that (he is $30 for every half-hour session). After the first month, if I am happy with my/our progress, I will continue on with maybe every 2 weeks for a while, and then go from there. I know I will be diligent with everything he tells me to do, so hopefully this arrangement will work for him, too.

Umm....Today, I am going down to Fargo for a meeting that will include a lot of emotions. It is an alumni night for gambling addiction treatment. I went through that treatment almost 7 years ago actually to this day (it took me 6 months, outpatient). I haven't been back as an alumni since I was pregnant. The meetings are every third Tuesday, which was always a Weight Watchers meeting, and I kind of treated WW as my meeting for my eating addiction and focused on that. I refused to miss a weigh-in with WW. SO, now that I am at goal and CAN miss the meeting (won't be weighing in anyway), I promised the coordinators that I would be there today. It is always good to have someone be there who has been in the program and has been successful since it is such a bad addiction for relapsing.

But, the point here is, it will be emotional seeing a few people who haven't seen ME since I was around 300 pounds, and then also reliving my gambling addiction for those who haven't met me, and then in between there will be potluck. Yeah. Potluck. Wanna know what I am bringing? Donut holes, because I'm cheap. The irony is not lost here, people. I am not having any (mainly because I snuck 4 last night)....also because now that I am going to be spending $30 a WEEK on a personal trainer, I really want to put my 100% into the results. My first session with him is tomorrow, so I am taking all my measurements today and 1 month from today, on April 15 (tax day!!!), I will be able to truly show progression in SOME form, be it numbers on the scale, on the measuring tape, on how strong I feel, on the changes in the mirror, anything, and I will know that I put in 100%.

So, here are the stats as of this morning:

Weight: 162
Bust: 36DD (38D)
Natural Waist: 32
Waist around belly button (biggest area): 39
Hips: 39
Thigh: 22
Left upper arm: 12
Calf: 15

Let's see where I am in 1 month!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELSY82 3/17/2011 10:31AM

    I hope that you had a good feeling leaving your alumni meeting. I know it must not be easy, for multiple reasons. You are a shining light of what can happen when a person truly puts their mind to stopping one behavior, and focusing it on something else (your healthy lifestyle). I congratulate you for 7 years and losing almost 1/2 of your body weight in that time. You are amazing, truly.

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JILLIANPRNCSS 3/15/2011 9:10PM

    I can't wait to read about how it goes.

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CRYSBROWN1 3/15/2011 12:58PM

    Well $30 per week should definitely give you the motivation to give it your all for sure! Sounds like a great plan that you have. I think that it is great that you are going to attend the meeting, I bet so many of them can learn so much for you!

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DUSTYGIRL25 3/15/2011 12:17PM

    Thanks for sharing Erin. Good luck with your meeting. It's gotta be hard to go back to that painful past.
However, your doing great with the weight. So keep on doing it.

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 3/15/2011 11:45AM

    I hope the experience ends up being a positive one and will reaffirm how far you have come in ALL your addictions :)
And wow, I'd love to make $1 a minute... I hope the trainer works hard for his money!

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ROBYN168 3/15/2011 10:24AM

    You have been successful, and that is going to shine through tonight!!!!! Enjoy what your strength has brought you!

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PINKBEANBOO 3/15/2011 10:19AM

    Deep breaths & you can do it. You are going to be a role model at the group meeting, not only for the success you've had in overcoming your gambling, but when they see how much weight you've lost. Smile & think how much you like yourself : )

I can't wait to hear about your experiences with the trainer. I'd love to have a few sessions with a successful one. One month from now you'll be blogging about what a great month you've had.
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THEHONESTME 3/15/2011 9:59AM

    You will be as much of an inspiration at your alumni meeting as you are here on Spark! Those people will walk away knowing they can some day be like you! YAY, ERIN!

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JULIEIRENE 3/15/2011 9:53AM

    I'm wishing you well as you approach all of these developments. I am so proud of you for the progress you've made and for having the courage to go into this meeting and face so much. You have a lot to be proud of and you are preparing yourself well. We'll be cheering you on from afar! emoticon emoticon

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MJCLARENDON 3/15/2011 9:41AM

    Sounds like you have some challenging events coming up, whew! Good for you for coming on here and setting out a plan, that should really help! I like that you're looking to your training sessions as inspiration and to not waste the opportunity. Good luck, and check in here often if it gets tough!

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THEBLONDEGENIUS 3/15/2011 9:21AM

    You can do this - I can tell from your writing that you're a STRONG WOMAN. You've made such amazing progress in both your health and overcoming your gambling addiction!

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