Friday, February 02, 2007
Yes! I have mounted the horse and am ready to ride!
As the month of February unfolds, I am striving to work on a very important task, one that is perhaps more important than working on my health and weight. In reality, this task encompasses the whole notion of striving towards becoming a better self and will in fact, enable me to accomplish my weight-related goals. What task is it? The dreaded task of learning self-discipline.
Self-discipline has been defined by some as the ability to get yourself to take action regardless of your emotional state. That sounds right up my alley! My favorite preacher, John MacArthur, once gave a wonderful sermon on the virtues of self-discipline. I took notes, I nodded my head in hearty agreement, and I pondered the implications of what he was saying. I even semi-tried to implement his suggestions for living a more disciplined life into my own topsy-turvy world. But alas, like a slinky left to topple down the stairs, I fell right back into a downward spiral of self-gratification and lack of direction. Not so much because I am a quitter, but because I do not persevere. I give 100% of myself in many areas, but not when it comes to myself. Why? I don't know yet. I'm workin' on that one.
So, unlike prior attempts, I am not gonna go "gung ho!" and map out precise plans and tracks for myself (the virgo in me can get a bit carried away sometimes). Nah, I've been down that road and all paths lead to failure. This time, I am going to take it one day at a time, a few hours at a time if I must, and try to keep myself focused on *what matters*.
Instead of whining and complaining that I feel spiritually empty at times, I am gonna work on reading my Bible and going to church and bending my knees a little more often in prayer. But instead of just doing it when I feel inspired (ah yes, gotta love those "feel good" moments...how often has the pastor warned about those times?), I am going to try and focus on doing that which I OUGHT to do, DESPITE what I am feeling.
Same goes for food and exercise. Don't feel like salad or leftovers today? Tuff stuff. How many people in Africa would be *greatful* for even a tenth of what I am fortunate enough to eat in just ONE meal?!?! Don't feel like getting my dimpled butt off the couch to exercise? Give me a break! How many disabled or paralyzed individuals would gladly exchange places with my fat frumpy legs, if only to take just one last step?!
Yeah, I need a serious wake-up call. And you know what? I hear the alarm buzzing. Not gonna hit the snooze button this time. No siree.
Today, tomorrow, and the day after that, I am going to strive to be a little less selfish, require a little more of myself, and work myself hard. Life is short. I've wasted enough time wallowing in self-pity and living my life on the sidelines, always a spectator, never a participant--with food as my companion. UGH! God has given me a great gift with this wonderful body. I have destroyed its outer shell with stretch marks and scars and rolls of fat. BUT, I am going to show a little gratitude for once. Be thankful for the health I possess and the ability to move my arms and legs without pain. I am going to reclaim this fleshly temple in which my spirit dwells, so that I may serve Him to my fullest capacity.
Lord, help me to do this!!~