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    BILLIEB1120   2,063
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I'm DONE!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

I'm done with this fight. I wave the white flag. Stick a fork in me.
I have been trying and trying and I get no where. Life gets in the way, work gets in the way. I cant maintain enough intrest or desire to care what my body looks or feels like when I'm too busy just trying to survive life. And in the end what is the point? I know my history very well I will drop 20 to 50 pounds in the blink of an eye with no apparent effort then gain it back. All I get out of the process is guilt, frustration, anger and decreased self esteem and quite frankly life provides enough of that on its own. To everyone who was there when I had questions or a bad day thank you. Best wishes to all. emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

I_AM_WORTHY2010 3/13/2011 5:54PM

    I feel you but you are feeding yourself the wrong brain food ( self talk). Changing a life, be it eating lifestyle, health lifestyle, spiritual lifestyle, it is a JOURNEY.... And as you walk this journey, you will have good days and not so good days, but over time, as you keep moving forward, you CAN and will have more good days than not.

From what you have shared, you may be in a depression. I wonder also if your son may be too. There is help and there is hope. I know what you are saying, my journey has had some great ups and the past two+ years some low of lows and I too felt just like you. My decision to not move forward during this time cost my family, mostly my daughter. I am pushing myself now thru these feelings of being overwhelmed. Baby steps.

It is working. No I am not losing weight but that is not my measure to success right now. Eating healthier, eating less and moving more is what counts for me. I have proven to myself that I can 'lose' weight so it's not about that for me now. I still have health issues that hinder the weight loss so I just don't even go there right now.

My focus is the overall health of my family and a good balance of life. We were too unbalanced and it affected our health.

I know you love your son and want what is best for him. I wish you the best on your journey and pray you trust in Hope and continue to move forward. Take care.

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NEVERNAKED 3/12/2011 1:18PM

    i'm sorry you feel so discouraged. and i can totally relate. sometimes it just seems like what's the point?

when / if you're ready to come back, we'll be here!

take care.

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RAINBOWFALLS 3/12/2011 9:11AM

    I hope you change your mind... Best of luck to you.

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BOBF15 3/11/2011 2:51PM

    Life is always a fight, a battle, like the battle between, gravity and flight, keep your wings out and you fly, tuck them in... and you fall.

I agree it does take effort to keep those wings out, not easy, nope!!!

But as mentioned in the other entry, we will be here for you.

Your focus is your reality. emoticon

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SMILEYBABS 3/10/2011 4:26PM

    We will still be here when you come back when you are feeling more up to it. In the meantime, take care of yourself.
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