Thursday, March 10, 2011
It's been almost a year and a half since a very hard period in my life ended - and i'm still not fully recovered. Will i ever be? I'd like to think that i will. I know i will. But it's probably not happening by itself, i gotta work for it. And lately i didn't work for it - on the contrary: i worked against it.
I used to be focused on "how much" and "by when". Now all i care about is to stay on track when it comes to weight loss. Stay on track day after day: consume 1600 kcal, burn 450, thus have a deficit of 640 kcal daily. I just want to be on the road, no matter how far my destination is. Progress, not perfection.
I am now deciding to blog every day. Just to say what's on my mind. To tell how my day was. Not because i want others to see it (they can of course), but because i want to get it out of my sistem. Like a diary.
I'm tired. Not because i don't have enough sleep. It comes from my mind. i'm not always tired, but much more often than a healthy person. I know what things can make me get out of this hole: good relationship with my love, with my father and sister, my mother, my best friends, and staying in touch often with them (except for my love, we live together so that doesn't refer to him). Reading 'soulwarming' books/magazines helps. Staying on track with food and exercise helps a lot. Having fun, doing things i love in my free time. Earning more money wouldn't hurt either. :) But i don't want to start enlisting all the material things (money, a house, a new car, clothes, etc) that would make me happy because deep inside i feel that these aren't the things i need to be wanting in order to be happy. I want real relationships and friendships and family bonds, a healthy body and mind - and that's about all i want now. I can start seeking more wealth once i 'll be spiritually and mentally wealthy.