"The fire inside me is there because I keep giving it oxygen.
Every time the world tries to slap me down I keep fighting.
Yes, it is hard but it is worth it. I am worth it." by ASHLEY1977T
To tell the truth I have been fairly consistent in achieving my Feb goals:
Track every lovin' mouthful that passes my lips - missed 1 day of the month.
Training for 10k race by running x3 per week - missed x2 runs - am on week 6.
Alcohol Free February - drank 7 drinks.
Drinking my water - heaps.
Blogs aiming for 1 a week - 3 out of 4
Getting over my fear of gym culture - (baby steps)-I have joined the YMCA, have a program written for me, have run through it once!
So why do I want to beat myself up?!! Why am I saying mean things to myself late at night? Why do I feel tired, flat, sad?
I am not sleeping in a normal, healthy way. I have been tracking for patterns and the one, huge, overwhelming factor is my discipline with computer time late at night! It sucks. And I have known this since January, when I began the Spark Sleep Challenge. So why am I self sabotaging?
I have taken 3 months to complete this challenge, the solution to getting my 8 hours zzzz is simple: turn off the electronics.
I am currently in another cycle of willful, self-induced insomnia.
I am doing this instead of feeding my artist soul! I want to organise my studio for some major exhibition production, but I am am not.
So, I need to ramp up my life purpose and take action on my goals to cease this late night, self- sabotage!
NO more computer games. I am an addict.
I do this late night thing when I have not engaged with my passions during the day.
I am wasting my precious life. I am beating myself up instead of loving me.
I declare I am the possibility of self love in action!
NEW GOALS to track in MARCH:
Computer time and off by 11pm
Studio time EVERY day - 15 min de-clutter, 15 min plan, 15 min do, Repeat.
Continue 10 k training
Gym x3 per week - make dates with myself
What is going in my mouth? calories 1200 -1500
"Measuring, by its nature, requires me to pay attention to every portion. Measuring forms a container for my longings and boundaries for my lust. Without boundaries, I cannot find balance. Without limits, I cannot hope to be free."
- Dayna Macy
My mum & son. My mother has been in hospital for most of Feb, I will travel to her & stay a while when she gets out. I wish she could live with us. She loves her home.