Friday, March 04, 2011
So, After weighing myself this week I realized I am a QUARTER of the way to my ultimate goal - WOOOOWHOOOOO. Yes, it's only 1/4 of the way, BUT ....it's 1/4 of the way!!!! lol. I can look at this 2 ways.
1.) Boowhooo... I still have 3/4 of the way to go. that's 75 more pounds until my ultimate goal.. I'm a whiner.. maybe I should quit. I'm not losing the weight fast enough.. waaaaaa....
2.) HOLY CRAP!!! I am a quarter of the way there and it's only the beginning of MARCH!! I have lost almost 27 pounds in a TWO months! That's GREAT!! I ONLY have to lose 25 pounds 3 more times!!! It's been a lot of sweat, a lot of rough mornings, a lot of better choices and a WHOLE LOT of SMILES!!!
LOL... I CHOOSE to look at the OPTIMISTIC way. Has it been hard? - YOU better believe it has. I have cried, whined and fought some bad self-demons along the way. But I have pulled through those days I wasn't sure I could. I have had some HORRENDOUS days where I didn't want to do anything, but I PULLED through and did what I needed to do to work toward my goal EVERY DAY. Do I want to cheat(myself)? Sometimes. But, I always try to wait a little longer and see if I still want that 'something' I'm yearning for. usually, the urge passes and I'm thankful. I did have a cupcake for Valentine's Day... and it tasted good. But I paid for it. It made me feel sick to my stomach because my body isn't used to the sugar so, ultimately,... it wasn't worth it. So every time I have wanted something super sweet again, I think about that delicious cupcake... and then how crappy it made my belly feel. I have my down days.... shoot, some weeks (this one for example) it was hard. I struggled to fight down my excuses.... but... i DID... and I was always thankful for that. I'm still learning and every day has it's challenges, but everyday I'm a step closer than I was the day before. I try not to look too far in the future because some days it seems overwhelming and I find it far less challenging to say "today is going to be a good day" or "GREAT JOB I went to the gym today! Excellent!!" rather than "allll of these days in the future I have to eat good... for...EVER?" lol. THAT seems more intimidating.
More and more people have started noticing and congratulating me on my success. (Then of course, you have the haters who don't want to acknowledge my success due to their own self issues.. but, that's not my problem, they have to work on themselves. They'll get there.) But Yeah, people who I never thought would notice, let alone ask me how I am doing so well, have been. It's crazy. I have been asked my 'secret', which is always a long version of "hard work" because I have SO much to say about it. I'm proud of myself and when people ask, I love to tell them.... mainly because, I KNOW how they feel. I have been there and I'm still not out. BUT I DO know what works... AND what DOESN'T. I have tried allllll of the "doesn't" and I am only interested in the "does" simple.as.that.
Ohhhhhhh annnnnnd let me tell you about my closet. I have a special area in the back of my closet designated to things that I never fit in but liked. It is my "Maybe One Day - 'skinny' clothes" section. Items I bought but never tried on and when I did they didn't fit. Items I got as gifts that didn't fit.... Pants I USED to fit... and other random clothes, you get the point. Well, I can say with a smile that I am starting to DIVE into those clothes. Two weeks ago I found a pair of slacks that I bought without trying on like... at least 2 years ago.. as well as some work shirts and other cute tops. Well, I would like to proudly tell you all that I am currently WEARING those pants and they are BAGGY! LOVE IT! Now, I still have a lot of smaller clothes in that section but I am getting closer and closer to the end of those clothes (they are in order of size, lol) and slowly but surely more and more of my everyday clothes are becoming tooo baggy to wear. My FAVORITE jeans - if I wear them more than a couple hours.. they are baggy and look crappy and I HAVE to throw them in the dryer t help them shrink again. A lot of my shirts have to go in the dryer (when I used to hang them) because if I hang them they look.. baggy.. it's an incredible feeling. One I am looking forward to for months to come. I can't wait to buy new jeans... but I have refrained so far. Oh yeah... I used to mainly go to the plus size store... Well, at my favorite plus size store, I am just about in the smallest size they carry..... so, that will open the door for me to shop at the normal size stores and feel comfortable in the clothes!
Oh and have I ever told you that I would LOVE to skydive? OHHH, I have wanted to for a few years now... and I was always too scared to b/c of my weight... Well, I am looking forward to squashing that insecurity and making my dream a reality!!!
This blog went in a million different directions, but I am feeling obnoxiously happy today and I wanted to share my random thoughts. This crazy journey has me all over the place but in one direction - toward my goal.
How to I wake up everyday so early and get my butt to the gym? How do I make the right choices when eating? This is how:
"I wake up every day with the realization that this is it, that there's only one shot at this life and I can either enjoy the ride and live it to its fullest and to my highest potential or I can stay the way I am. "