Friday, March 04, 2011
More on Anger Management
It is interesting that I REMEMBER all the transgressions against me. Do other people do that? What this does for me is this: When I get mad (either appropriately or not), my mind conjures up all the other old battles I’ve had with this person. That means I never really forgave and let it go.
The thing with having a big family and a lot of relationships is that you have these people in your life forever. Any one of my sisters would have been dropped like a heavy brick had they been merely a friend at some point or another in my life. But I hang on because we are related.
This makes me cherish the love and friendship I have with my best friend. We can tell each other everything. (Well, she can tell me more than I tell her because she will accidently repeat things to others and she knows that about herself. Hahaha.) She is so friendly. She is the best.
So my thoughts on forgiveness-- You are an idiot if you live your life not remembering transgressions. If bitten by a snake, would you stand and allow yourself to be bitten again? Of course not. A snake is a snake. If I am truly stuck with a person in my life—like my sisters—I devise strategies for ME. That is, I visit them or call them to give support and love—enough support and love that I CAN ABSOLVE MYSELF OF MY SELF-IMPOSED GUILT OF NOT DOING MORE. I must guard MYSELF from being sucked into their entanglements. I DO NOT WANT TO BE SUCKED IN BECAUSE OF GUILT. Man, I have to repeat that one to myself like a thousand times. This strategy gets tougher as time goes on. I am getting healthier and more fit day by day. I work at it. For them, they have given up. You can’t do this change for someone else.