Thursday, March 03, 2011
Yesterday I was feeling so confident that with some work, I could be that woman with the flat stomach and hot abs. Today, I'm not feeling that so much. It's awful, but I know I really want that body and I want to be able to keep up physically with my husband, but sometimes I just look at all that I have to do to get there and I look at myself in my current state and sort of shrug my shoulders and tell myself I'm fine where I am.
This is what gets me into trouble even when I'm succeeding in weight loss. I get to a certain point and reassess myself and my body and come to the conclusion that I'm content with the way I look now even though there are still areas that could use improvement. Then, I just sort of give up, which leads me right back to where I am now, overweight again and unhappy, or is it content? I can't seem to make up my mind as to how I feel about my body and I'm not sure how to make sure that I don't lie to myself anymore that I'm happy with the way I look.
I want to be that woman with the flat stomach. I've never had that in my life! I guess I get to a point where I convince myself I never will be there or that I'll never weight less than 130lbs. I'm aware of it, but I don't know how to not do it. It's like my self esteem gets in the way and all those lessons about loving your body the way it is is working against me. I'm loving it when I know I shouldn't and that leads to more frustration.