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Self-Acceptance/Eat pray love/Good in Bed!

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

“Each of us has a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses. When struggling people become aware of a weakness, they typically blame the problem on others or they beat themselves up for not being perfect. Successful people, however, usually make a different choice: they acknowledge the weakness, accept it without self-judgment, and, when possible, take action to create positive changes. As always, the choices we make determine both where we are headed and the quality of the journey. Developing self-acceptance helps us to make choices wisely.” -Skip Downing’s On Course

I came across this quote as I was preparing my lesson for class tomorrow. My students will be working in success teams to evaluate their goals and their progress towards their goals. When I read this paragraph I had an epiphany. This is me. I can’t stop judging myself for the eating issues I have and the behaviors I exhibit. I can’t stop blaming others for why this weight gain happened in the first place. I am constantly disappointed in myself for not successfully losing weight, even though I know I am so strong, active, and relatively healthy in spite of being overweight.
Yesterday I clicked on the March calendar for Spark, and felt a jolt when I realized that last year I had downloaded it. Yes, everyone, I am still here a year later, in much better shape, but basically at the same weight.

I need to learn to accept my weakness of being overweight without self-judgment.

We are just watching the movie Eat, Pray, Love with Julia Roberts. I read the book a long time ago and enjoyed it, but there was a scene in the movie last night where the Lizzie and Sophie are at a pizza parlor. They both have an entire small pizza in front of them. Lizzie is diving into her pizza and Sophie is holding back. Sophie eventually says she feels like she is gaining weight just looking at the pizza and Lizzie counters with something along the lines of how Sophie needs to enjoy it and stop worrying about what she looks like. A fun scene follows where they are shopping for larger jeans.

Putting this scene together with the quote makes me realize I have a long way to go to accepting my body and who I am. I want to be more like Lizzie and less like Sophie.

I have a favorite book I have read multiple times. I won’t loan it to anyone because I don’t want to lose it. It is a chick lit beach read, but I love it. It is called “Good in Bed” by Jennifer Weiner. It is all about a woman, Candace, who is overweight (we learn later in the book that means she is a size 16…I’d be quite happy to be a size 16!) and her ex-boyfriend writes a column about her in a fashion magazine. His column is entitled “Good in Bed” and he talks about “loving a larger woman” and how challenging it is in this world, primarily because of the head games “C” played with herself and her lack of acceptance of her body. This book is a must-read for anyone who has ever struggled with their body image.

Here are my thoughts about all this. I don’t want to go through my life being unhappy about my body or worried about how I look to others. I want to live life just loving my family, enjoying experiences, working hard, and living life the way it is meant to be lived- with love, energy, strength, and a sense of purpose and adventure. I want to stop worrying and concentrate on love and fun and living life to the fullest.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I love this blog, Kim. It is awesome. I challenge myself always to love myself the way I am. Sometimes this is hard but loving myself unconditionally, generally has become easier and easier. Self acceptance becomes a learned behavior in my estimation. I have had to train myself to get rid of old tapes in my head and replace them with new vibes. It is like retraces your steps and building them over again with new and better mortar. I wish you great success on this wonderful journey. I think you this could be fantastic for you! I am so grateful that you are my sister. You go for it, girl! I know you can do it! I love you!
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    Love, Karena emoticon
    2547 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/7/2011 3:49:15 AM
    Ijust want to say that yesterday I didn't worry about food or body image. I ate to be satisfied and I did track. In the end, I ate cookies yesterday and stayed in my new lower calorie range without feeling stressed at all. I am hoping I have turned a corner.
    2550 days ago
    WOW Kim great blog! The quote I am little of both, is that possible?

    OMGosh on the Eat Pray Love I just watched the movie today while sick in bed, I loved the scene with the pizza! I would have been cracking up but it hurt too bad.
    2550 days ago
    Kim, that's an excellent blog! Self-acceptance is what has put me in the shape I'm in. I love who I am and am not motivated to change. I think we all need to love our bodies and love who we are regardless of what our size is. You are a strong, active, intelligent, healthy beautiful woman! Be proud of who you are! Although you want to be smaller, you can still love and accept who you are right now! Good for you for this epiphany, and thank you for sharing it!
    2551 days ago
    I loved the book Good in Bed!! You should check out her follow up book called Certain Girls. It's also pretty good!!!

    I struggle with how I look daily. I need to learn how to love myself no matter what size I am. But it's really hard to get to that place!!
    2551 days ago
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