Conquering the bikini
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Spring has officially arrived in Florida, I have finally retired my peacoat and boots for the season! As a one-piece swimsuit girl for the first 12 years of my life and then Tankini girl for the following 8 years, I've recently been nervously crossing into Bikini Girl territory. Nerves existed for two reasons, the obvious one being that an obese girl does not like to be half naked in private, let alone on a public beach surrounded by naturally skinny i-eat-whatever-i-want-and-stil
l-look-like-Heidi-Klum types. The second reason for my nerves are my tatas. I have never been a small girl in the chest area, and when I was 15 the top of my only-ever bikini literally exploded from the ever-growing girth that was my boobs, and I was not alone when it happened. The resulting humiliation made me say "hell naw" to anything less than a baggy tankini for the next 5-6 years. Last year I finally purchased a bikini, and even wore it in public, but still favored my tankini.
The tankini is being retired this year. I purchased a 2nd bikini this year, even daring to go in bright bold colors....now there's no "oh darn my only bikini is dirty, guess i'll have to wear the tankini" excuse to use!
I wore my brand new bikini this past weekend to a pool party. I even took off the shorts, so it was literally just a Girl and her Bikini, against the world.
Something wonderful happened: I didn't feel fat in it, or self conscious. I didn't feel like everyone was looking at the gross girl trying to wear a bikini. I felt [god forbid] cute! It was perhaps the first time in my entire life that I was able to completely ignore the 'your fat, throw on a t-shirt' voice in the back of my head and actually enjoy myself.
Totally worth the 3rd degree sunburn I'm now rocking on my shoulders and thighs. Note: next time, bring sunscreen that didn't expire in 2001.