Sunday, February 27, 2011
It's really not that hard. I know it. But being happy can be so hard for me. Today is a good day for me. I'm very content in my life and who I am. You would think I should always remember this feeling and keep it close , but most days I go through this tug of war between my mean unhappy self and the self I wanna be. I've grown these last few years and I see the stuggles I use to face or should say I see what a big deal I've made about silly things that don't matter now. Why is it that I'm always trying to arrive but never satified when I get there. Always looking for sometime but never really knowing what it is. I find myself wanting to go home. But what home. The home I lived in as a kid with my parents. The home I had with my ex-husband. The home I have now is home. My Jules is here, my love Ken is here. So why am I always looking for happiness that's already in front of me. I could compare it to shoes. I buy a pair and bring them home but I'm still thinking about the ones I left behind. Trying to improve my life and improve who I am is always an on going task. I love the book The Four Elements. I try to open it and read something everyday to remind me that happiness is in me.
Happiness is not a something to buy or get. Sometimes it's already there.