Thursday, February 24, 2011
I'm wondering about doubt. I'm wondering about the ways we sabotage ourselves, psych ourselves up or wear ourselves out. I'm wondering about the ways we doubt ourselves when it comes to diets, relationships, work, life.
I'm wondering about discernment. Do I doubt at all the wrong times? I've made some questionable decisions in the past... flown right past warning signs with clear indications to use caution, yet I'd plow on full steam ahead. I'm wondering if I fail to doubt when doubt is reasonable, throw on my rose colored glasses and roll on. When I find myself in the proverbial deep end, I wonder how and why I willingly sailed off the cliff. That's when I usually doubt... only when I'm flailing in the deep end.
Tonight I'm questioning doubt itself. I was explaining to a super wise, incredibly awesome spark friend (aren't you all?!) that I want some input on this... So, I'm opening it up to you. In going back to work with hospice, my intention has been to find and join the team of professionals who care, Really Care, for their patients/families. I found 'em all right. The local team is just what I'd hoped for, envisioned, thankfully joined. I don't doubt their skill, compassion, empathy, dedication. I suppose I doubt corporate entities. It's hard enough to trust my discernment skills with individuals, let alone corporate structure.
For those of you who routinely balance(d) the demands of what seems like a potentially callous corporate machine with the rewards of some wonderful people/opportunities, how do you do that? How do you suit up in armour to steel yourself from demanding corporate types and keep your heart open to life unfolding?
How do you deal with your doubts?