This is my first blog entry ever. I have been a bit tentative to put out information for everyone out there, but also for myself. But really, what do I have to hide (besides my fears and insecurities)?

I believe I am at my healthiest and fittest of my life right now! How could that be, after being on swim teams for years and being physically active in one way or another all my life?

I think at my heaviest I weighed in at 190-something (I stopped weighing myself so I wouldn't see how heavy I actually was), which was sometime in highschool...then I hung out at around 175-180 for a number of years. When I came to Madrid, Spain five years ago I started to magically lose weight. Magically because I didn't really change my diet THAT much but lost a good 15 pounds in my first 6 months here! Thinking logically, It was probably all of the walking and cutting out butter for olive oil and pre-packaged foods for fresh food, due to my budget and what I could find

Then it's been up and down 5lbs. Up when I go back home to visit the family and want to eat everything. Up when I have something to celebrate...well, ANYTHING to celebrate (and believe me, I LOVE holidays:)

Last year around February I started going to the pool consistently again after having knee trouble/back trouble. Swimming 2-3 times per week made me feel better, but I still wasn't losing weight in any way because I was eating and drinking the same way I have been for years.

When I realized in January that my BMI listed me as overweight, I was kind of shocked! How could this be?! I feel healthy. I'm relatively fit. Aren't I OK?

I guess that, and my friend recommending this site to me, were the last little pushes that I needed. I have been afraid to post a blog because that would be like a commitment. I have been known to sabotage myself in the past. What if I mess up and stop advancing? What about when the inevitable plateau hits?!

*breath*

I can do this!

I am going to put on that black dress I've been waiting to wear because it shows my muffin top!

I feel great after these past two months of going to the pool and gym and eating consciously even though I get strong feelings of guilt sometimes!

I love feeling even stronger! I have never wanted to be skinny (well, you know, I have when I saw beautiful models) but rather to be physically fit and strong.

I can't change my mindset of being the overweight girl overnight.

I can do this.

Let me hit post before I decide to erase this.

besos

Sarah