Monday, February 21, 2011
I seriously need to focus on learning to meet a goal and not change it halfway through because I am not getting there. I have worked really hard to learn to be flexible but I think I have gone to far the other way! I have yet to sit a goal that I have maintained for longer than 3 days and this has lasted over a year.
I think the turning point was when I started college in 2008 then quit in 2009. I worked so hard to go to school full time, work, be a single mom and still earn a 4.0 GPA and a place on the Presidents Honor Roll, plus induction into Phi Theta Kappa. Then I got into the physical therapy assistants program a feat of its own since they only accept 15 students a year but halfway through the program I had to quit because I could not function under the stress level and my depression, anxiety and urges to cut went through the roof.
Since then I have not kept a single goal. It is so frustrating to set completely attainable goals stand in my own way. I think I am afraid I will reach my goal and fail again.
I am going to focus on small goals for now.
1) exercise daily---this controls my depression,anxiety,insomnia and weight
2) only eat out once a week--this is healthier, offers quality family time, and better for the budget!
After setting my goals I have to post them right front and center where I will see them everyday and measure my progress. This means I get to make great posters and use fun stickers! lol
The inability to complete a goal I have set for myself however small is effecting how I feel about myself as a person. I feel like a failure all the time when defintely I am not. I am a hardworking, smart, caring, funny, kind, mom. Now if I can just remember that! lol
I think that is enough for now.
PS I guess part of a goal is to set an end date ! Oops! These goals are effective until March 31.