Sunday, February 20, 2011
So when you "give up" for 3 months, you get, well, absolutely nothing different than the status quo in return. As a great boot camp instructor/trainer I know says in her newsletter, "If nothing changes, nothing changes."
So here I am again, hopeful, but also admittedly depressed not only at my situation but at areas of my personal life that make it so hard to summon the confident, courageous, spunky gal that lives inside me. A rocky marriage can feel all-consuming.
So today I vow to start small, with goals I know I can keep. For me this week that will be tracking food daily, because like so many others, food is where I turn for comfort when I'm sad, angry & stressed. Since I feel that way often -- and especially of late -- this is what I first need to be crystal clear on, so I can bit by bit make substitutions and changes.
I know WHAT to do. What I need is the focus and determination to do it consistently when things and people around me are negative or hostile.
The biggest irony for me in this struggle has always been this: I feel SO MUCH BETTER when I'm exercising and eating healthy. And I feel so much worse (and far more tired) when I'm not. It's such a contradiction -- you'd think that it would be easier to do the things that make you actually feel better. But it seems to me that what winds up being easier is staying on one track, one way of dealing with things -- even if it makes you literally feel worse. Strange.
But hey, I'm no old dog, and I actually like new tricks. So here's to a few new tricks in my bag. And more than that, here's to the motivation to use them!!!