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KAYAKKIM
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Self-Control vs Will-Power

Sunday, February 20, 2011

www.npr.org/2011/02/14/1
33629477/for-kids-self-con
trol-factors-into-future-success


I was reading the above article and I started thinking about my own self control and that of my pre-school age girls. I wonder what I was like as a child and if I had good self-control or not. I remember being the peacemaker from an early age, but I can't really remember what I was like as a pre-schooler other than bing quiet and easily occupied. What I do know is that the first lines of the article hit home, "Self-control keeps us from eating a whole bag of chips or from running up the credit card. A new study says that self-control makes the difference between getting a good job or going to jail and we learn it in preschool". My own habits and self-control are excellent in some arenas- I am a successful professor, I manage my home relatively effectively while being a working mom (with the blessing of a husband who works from home!), but not so great in others. While I may not eat an entire bag of chips at a time, I certainly can venture easily past the one serving point, even when I am full really. I like considering the concept of self-control versus will-power, because the idea of will-power makes me feel weak, but the idea of self-control makesme feel strong and empowered!

What do you all think?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v EAGLES_WINGS
    To me self will implies moral implications while self control implies management. I think management is more successful though I have to, myself, realize that sometimes, I am being willful, personally. I do things which are counterproductive because I want to or feel I deserve to or I feel sour and I want to feel better or other reasons. I could be using a myriad of other coping skills I have but why is the food so easy? I kind of agree with Gale. In childhood food was always a reward, a celebration, an integral part of daily emotions. I can not imagine fully separating food from form. Though, I am moving in that direction. I do things like allow myself a lollipop for a sweet so I won't binge later. But, then when I am melancholy or upset, I do tend to eat a bit more even if I utilize my supports. I think I need to make my own rules around food and rewards and food and comforts. Thanks for the good thoughts. Very provoking information.
    1980 days ago
  • v SOKKERNUT
    Kim,
    Great article, thanks for sharing!
    Hugs
    Maria
    1982 days ago
  • v SUCCESSFUL-GALE
    Kim, that's a powerful concept! I totally agree that self-control is more about being a strong person. I have self-control in some areas of my life but not in others. That's intriguing. Like you, I'm successful in so many ways, so I wonder why we have such a difficult time in some areas. I love eating out which is why I tend to consume too many calories. I was pondering this the other day, and realized that for me, eating out is comfort. It's how my mom used to take care of me. Going out with her was one of the few times I felt special. I need to realize that that was in the past, and I can find comfort elsewhere. That's just one example of how I don't have self-control in some areas. I'll have to think about this some more.

    Thank you for sharing! I really appreciate you!
    1983 days ago
  • v AYAMMAYA
    Kim that is an excellent link and this is an awesome blog. I have never liked the phrase will power because it makes me think, "Maybe I will, maybe I won't." As a child, I tended to do what I was told and did what was expected. I do remember seething inwardly sometimes at the injustice of me following rules and other kids not doing so. Part of this stems from the fact that I was raised very closely with a male cousin who is two years older than me and he was my older brother from the time I was a baby until I started preschool, when he and family moved away. Then I was an only child until my first of six siblings was born when I was almost 3. So that whole childhood order psychology stuff is messed up.

    Since my mom was finishing her Bachelor's degree (kind of rare for women to do back in the 1960's, especially in Hawaii), I was the only one of all seven children to be cared for by nannies and later preschool. Thanks to this amazing blog of yours, I have just discovered that a lot of buried anger is because I followed the rules and did what was expected of me until after college when I first broke out of the mold. Now I am back to that mindset of not being a robot, but actually thinking for myself...controlling myself...

    Thank you Kimme!!! You totally rock girlfriend!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1983 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/20/2011 10:57:28 PM
  • v MINUS25X3
    Now you are on the right track. I have read that it is our own self talk that influences our behaviors. It works better when the self talk is positive. We all have excellent self control, we just have to find a reason to tap into it. You ARE strong and empowered!
    1984 days ago
  • v MINUS25X3
    Now you are on the right track. I have read that it is our own self talk that influences our behaviors. It works better when the self talk is positive. We all have excellent self control, we just have to find a reason to tap into it. You ARE strong and empowered!
    1984 days ago
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