Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I am Bog Daddy and I am a diabetic. No, I'm not looking for sympathy, or someone telling me to keep it up, or even an understanding nod. It is just a fact. This blog is about taking charge.
My diabetes started because it was in my genes. It started to get out of control because I had a hard time getting into my jeans. In what seems like a previous life I was very active. A lifeguard through college (yes, the stories are true and no I won't tell any), a runner before it became fashionable, I sort of fell off the wagon 20 years ago.
When I became symptomatic of my diabetes, I brushed them off just like any other male would. Hundreds of times I told myself that I was going to start a workout and nutrition program and dozens of times I did, only to become impatient and, ultimately fail. I changed careers, thinking that the change would be what I needed but, alas, that didn't help much. When I finally went to the doctor I was told I had diabetes. Of course, my doctor is an idiot and what the heck would he know, right?
Diet and exercise didn't seem to work. Okay, let me just say that it probably would have worked better if I had done what I was supposed to, but.... Then came oral meds, followed by insulin. Things still weren't working, because I hadn't taken charge.
Let me just say a quick thing about the insulin...at first I vowed that I would die before I gave in to the weakness of having to take insulin, but finally resigned myself to it. Five shots a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year...not really as bad as it sounds, but still.
Last September I finally took charge. While I listened to what my doctor say (I have a new one by the way), I still took charge. I did my own research, I asked questions, I suggested treatment, I joined a gym and actually started going. I stopped listening to other people and started listening to myself. Which lead me to pump day.
Over the past several months I have had very good control of my diabetes and my blood sugars have been not too far off what a person without diabetes would have. My diet is, for the most part, exceptional....I am human and have a thing for certain vices, so I can't hold them off forever. But, I was getting tired of the diabetes taking control of my time, my meals, my life. I decided it was time for me to take control of the disease.
Today I will be hooked up to an insulin pump, a Ping pump for those who are interested, and I will be able to micromanage my insulin. Some will think that it is a sign that things are not going well...on the contrary, it is a sign that things are going quite well. Today I will be in ultimate control.
I guess the point of this is that none of this stuff works, nothing. Not SparkPeople, not the diets, not the exercise programs, nothing, until we take control ourselves. It was odd, I was giving out advice to people and it dawned on me that if I can't help myself, how the heck can I help other people?
When we stop whining (I was good at that by the way), stop looking for excuses (really good at that), and move up to the front of the bus and take over the steering wheel. I will tell you that it feels great. I don't know where the road is going, but I am driving. Now it is on to get pumped.