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    BELLE0308   17,650
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SELF WORTH


Sunday, February 13, 2011


I work two jobs. One is full-time, Monday through Friday. The other job is a part-time job where I help waitress at weddings. In my forty three years I have never, ever worked as a waitress where I have actually taken orders and waited tables. Today the part-time job called and they were in a bind. A hockey team and parents were all coming in to eat and the lady who normally would help was out sick. This left the couple that owns the place and I to cook and feed 50 people within a short period of time. This was not a buffet style meal, it was all individual baskets and pizzas.

I arrived a bit nervous as it was because of my lack of inexperience. I had told myself I thought I could handle this and while a bit wary, I was also determined. The owner’s wife explained to me how to take the orders and how to add them up and so on. I was set to go when I had to run a delivery and then return to help. As I was walking out the door people were pouring in all at once. It only took about 8 minutes for the deliveries and I was back and helping. The wife did all of the cooking with me helping make pizzas, take some orders and then dish everything up. Her husband was helping deliver orders to the tables. Needless to say we had some angry customers because with only three of us, this took a long time. I made a mistake on one of the pizzas when I was reading the order and left an ingredient off. As a result the customer pitched a total fit which resulted in my getting a lecture about how I shouldn’t mess up on orders because that is the worst thing I can do from the husband (owner) for about 30 minutes straight.

This gets better…
He then proceeded to chew his wife out about how she doesn’t have enough burgers on the grill, he is literally yelling at her. For the record, he sent me to a table with an extra burger basket so he was wrong. Then he starts telling me how you have to learn to work under pressure because he can do that since he works with complicated machines all of the time. Bottom line, the guy is an ass. I made about $300 all of last year from this job. I mostly do it for my boss at my other job because she runs the buffets and banquets. It also helps for Christmas but I would say I don’t need this job in the slightest. Most of the people I know who have worked there can’t stand the guy so they leave or won’t answer the phone when they call for help. His wife and the woman who does most of the running of the place is nice as can be. She told me I did a good job and that she couldn’t have made it without me. Seeing her jerk of a husband tear her down like that bothered me more than it did having him chew me out. I could care less because I think the man is a moron so his words don’t do a thing for me. To see him treat his wife and the mother of his children that way was pathetic. When I got home I text messaged a friend of mine who works there a lot and she said that she doesn’t have the self-worth to tell him off. Self worth is something to think about. What is acceptable to put up with and what isn’t based on what we are worth as people. The argument could be made that I have not treated myself well in the past by what I have put in my mouth and my lack of physical activity, but I think I have always had a sense of my own self worth. Watching others who don’t makes me feel like going into warrior mode. I wanted to tell her that she is more than capable of anything and everything he can do and she is even better. I wanted to be her cheerleader, but I knew that wasn’t my place.
So yesterday I learned a few things. The first is that I can now fit into some black jeans that I couldn’t squeeze into a month ago. Then I learned that having a sense of the value of self is priceless. When others want to drag you down with their petty slams and attempts at razor tongue wit, I KNOW that I can always be a better me and that I are worth everything I do to make myself better. No one is allowed to put me in my “place” but God.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRUWRITERLADY 2/13/2011 1:51PM

    Wow! Sounds like you went through some crud and came out the other side knowing you are stronger than you thought you were - that is awesome! I appreciate your empathy for the wife of that jerk - unfortunately most of the time people teach other people how to treat them, so that means the husband knows he can get away with that kind of behavior with his wife and others because they don't set the boundaries and say 'I'm sorry, but I am not going to allow you to treat me that way.' Bullies seem to have an innate sense of knowing who will push back and focusing in on those that don't with their demeaning behavior. Eventually bullies can convince those they hammer on all the time that they don't deserve better treatment. Congrats to you for realizing this behavior is wrong, lots of people think its perfectly fine to treat others like crap so they can feel in control of something in their lives. You say you don't have to have this job, so I hope you can avoid having to go through that situation again, but doesn't it feel empowering to know you can handle it if you have to? WooHoo and Double WooHoo for fitting into black jeans!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AMYRENEE1967 2/13/2011 11:32AM

    I worked in the restaurant/banquet biz for many many years. I was a hostess, bartender and waitress... and I have to say there is always one nasty SOB to contend with- and I must say most of the time for me it was the chef- and second in line was the customer. People go out cranky all the time and love to take it out on restaurant staff!! Restaurant work is NOT for the weak, you have to constantly remind yourself how great you are because so many of the people involved can be just rude and mean! (Retail work is right up there with restaurant work... did that too!)

I am proud of you! I too can take it- but was so happy when my life changed and I no longer had to have a second job (restaurant work was usually my second job). I do not miss it one bit- and there was a time that I loved it (when I was much younger) because the money was good and usually co-workers were around to commiserate with.

Self worth is SO important- I have it too but there were times in my life when I didn't, thank goodness I can speak up for myself and speak out for others now... as I get older I feel I care less and less of what others think (not in an unkind way- I think you know what I mean) and I have less tolerance for rude/mean people. Great blog!
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Comment edited on: 2/13/2011 11:35:00 AM

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HYDROQUEEN 2/13/2011 10:29AM

    They really should have an emoticon on here with clapping hands that says "BRAVO"! What an excellent post.

Kudos to you for not only being aware of your own self-worth, but maintaining your cool! After dealing with abusive people in one form or another throughout life, I now tend to have a knee jerk reaction to them and can have my warrior armor on before I know it. That is, if they don't shock me into speechlessness. Some give a whole new meaning to ridiculous and it takes my brain a little longer to compute their actions. emoticon This guy sounds pretty ridiculous.

NO amount of money is worth abuse. It sounds like the benefits of leaving, far out-way any reason for staying. Good decision.

It's hard to fathom, amid a tyrannical fit, that these bullies actually feel very small inside. It's a shame that a grown man would treat anyone that way....especially the one person he should hold in the highest regard...his wife. An encouraging word from you may be the only positive thing she hears.

emoticon Great job not being someones door mat and EXCELLENT progress fitting into those black jeans! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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