Friday, February 11, 2011
Woohoo!!! I got on the scales this morning and i'm now down 30 Ibs. The last 10 Ibs seems to have just melted off.
I haven't been able to work out in over 2 weeks because of my asthma, and i'm still on prednisone, so I was afraid I'd gain weight back. I lost weight instead; woohoo!!!
I can really see the difference in my face, and I can feel the difference in my body.
On Wednesday, I had my last therapy session ,after over 10 years of therapy. I felt sad because I'll really miss my therapist, but happy because i'm doing so much better than I was. I had a long bout with severe clinical depression and anxiety, in the past. I feel so much better now. I guess my body just wants to catch up with my brain and feel good again too.
Anyway, after i left the office for the last time, a thought popped into my brain that maybe i should go buy some chips as a treat, to comfort myself. I instantly dismissed the thought...chips are not my friend, and they are not a comfort. If I want to eat chips, i'll eat them, but only because i want chips, not to use them to comfort myself.
During this phase of my weight loss, I have eaten chips, pizza, candies...I haven't denied myself anything, but I have made sure only to eat those things if I was really craving them and nothing else would do, and not to eat them to subdue my feelings. I also didn't overeat any of those things; i just had enough to satisfy my cravings, and I didn't go over my daily calorie total very often. In fact, most days it was a challenge to eat enough to fill my calorie total. I actually ordered pizza once a week for the past two weeks, and had 2 slices a day as part of my meal plan, simply because i was too sick to cook or go shopping, and I was having a hard time eating my calories. Other than that, I've been eating a lot of Lipton's cup of soup, yogurt, fruit cups, grapes, cucumbers and celery. I've also been having hot chocolate at night, before bed.
It took over 10 years of therapy, but I've finally learned that I don't have to eat my feelings away. Feelings won't kill me. They're just like waves on the lake; I just have to wait for them to wash over me and soon the storm will pass and things will be calm again.
I'm still coughing a lot, so I can't use my xbox Kinect, and I'm really missing it.
Hopefully I'll be able to play again next week.