Thursday, February 10, 2011
I want to thank you for the kind words of encouragement and "you can do its"
I know what has to be done to get back on track i just am having a rough time . I even posted my fat picture inside my fridge,and i open the door look at my picture and say
"hello old friend" and grab something to eat anyway.
and here i am trying to be open and honest about my failures, confessing my sins(well not all my sins)...lol...
i just realized today what this is really about. you see i was married on valentines day on the beautiful island of maui( my favorite place in the world) under the banyan tree. and now i am divorced and i still love my ex, but he's an alcoholic that refuses to get help.I thought he would change, but it never happened, but i wait and i pray and i wait some more and its been 5 years since our divorce. i feel like my life is on hold , i am standing still ,waiting for this miracle to happen so i can move on with my life
so this eating i have been doing right now is simply stress,lonliness and old memories, it will be over as soon as valentines day is over and i can get back on program . i'm not looking for pity or sympathy i'm just telling my SP friends that i discovered what it is that has taken over my brain, my body and my heart . so now i can deal with it!! most of the time i'm upbeat and happy and my cup is always half full...so i will be back to normal soon..hugs