Monday, February 07, 2011
Last Wednesday my boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up, amicably. At the very least, we will remain friends which is important to me since he was such a big part of my life. But, man is it tough. Especially when he's going out with his 23 year old coworker with in 3 days. For the record she asked him. I don't know why it hurts so much, we split because neither of us were what the other wanted. I can name the things we had in common on one hand, but it still chokes me up when he's getting ready to go on a date with her. I should mention that we are still living together (separate rooms) since we have 6 more months on our lease. Maybe its because he moved on so quickly and I'm hurt for purely selfish reasons. When we were together I felt stifled in our relationship and that I couldn't go do what I wanted to do for fear of hurting him. The freedom is amazing, but also scary. I turned 27 a few months ago and know that I want a family someday. Since I don't want to wait until I'm 36, like my mom, that means my time is running out. But on the other hand, I can be me, I can figure out what I want to do and do it. I'm not being held back (figuratively not literally) any more and I'm definitely better off for having known him. I just hope that our friendship (which was much stronger than our "relationship") will stay strong.