Saturday, January 27, 2007
The word change is interesting. I remember going on a trip with my mom during the pre-Edmonton days, and hearing the song "Change - will do you good". I sang along with it. Near the end, my mom was being jokingly upset, and said something like "Wow, you'd think that the singer thinks that change would do you good." The song basically repeats that the entire time. Anyway, that always stuck out in my mind. I fear and hate change. The interesting thing about that, is whenever I've undergone change, often it has been a great experience. Whenever I've come out of a long relationship, I've actually enjoyed dating various people. After moving, while being anxious in a new place, it has always ended up positive.
And now, I have some more change. Monday morning, I'm going into work, and resigning. I've been with Ford for 3 years now. I can't believe it's that long. But things have been amassing for quite some time. Almost the entire time, to be honest. There has always been something keeping me there. Such as:
1. My mom. She was so proud of me having a great job, and me not wanting to dissappoint her by leaving.
2. Niilo not working, and me having a steady job to pay for things.
3. My mom passing away, and them giving me 3 weeks off. I have always felt indebted to them for letting me have the time back, and making the return so seemless.
4. The promotion. I felt that while I had the experience for the promotion, I didn't have the education. I feel that they gave me a big boost in my career.
5. Guilt. Debbie was told I was her "last chance" ... and if I didn't work out, the structure of the office was changing, and my position would be moving to another location.
6. The turnover. There was always someone coming and going. This made it that the timing was never right, and when there was turnover, Debbie and Carry were inevitably nicer to me, as I was more valuable to them. This is likely the biggest reason.
I do have a lot of things to write... but the daunting task of putting fingers to keyboard to write something worthy of one day being read to myself has kept me away from this site. So I'm going to end this rather quickly, and say thing things are progressing for the positive.