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    FINGERSCROSSEDC   4,041
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4,000-5,499 SparkPoints
 
 

A step back to stay FOCUSED


Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Breathe.

I have had a few days off... - and have spent SOOOOO much time on Sparks, as odd as it may seem, it sorta made me loose FOCUS. AND it's been like a SWIRL - and... for me, swirls.. pretty close to STRESS... ohhh.. don't do well with stress (as in EAT - no good :) )

As mentioned in my intro, i'm not that bad losing (i can always learn - but i'd say,for me, it's pretty much exercise and eating well - hmmm.. am i on to something?!? :)

My main 'obstacles':

- starting again (it's like battling against inertia - of COURSE it's easier to eat non stop and not move: it is HAPPIER?!? - HA! i need to write that on a card!

- ONCE A TARGET OR NEAR TARGET: ************** dealing with COMMENTS!!!!!!! ***** (are you eating, etc, etc, etc; i've read 2 AMAZING blogs on that subject (& i'm sure there are many more!): one by Fit-Whit, one by Leslies537 - i'm sooo happy about that - for ONCE i think i'll be more equipped and will FINALLY learn to DEAL with it (HELLO - ***WITHOUT** destroying me!!)

MY RECENT PRE-SPARKS HISTORY
- Dropped 20 lbs from July to December 20th 2010
- DECEMBER 20th: MAN, PARTY, comments.... (does she eat, does she have a worm, etc, etc, etc - i was so ill prepared and hurt - i ATE; i'll SHOW them i eat (i was eating, but well, NOT after that party)
Very sad.
Conclusion??! Pretty much eat-eat-eat since - 15 lbs gained from December 20th to now

MY INITIAL SPARK GOALS
When i 1st joined, i thought: i'll go back to the December 20th weight and THEN start counting the weight loss.
But that's pretty much like punishing me - and i've punished myself enough. It's been 1 month + since Dec 20th, so that weight is pretty much part of me now... so....

MY NOW SPARK GOALS

Step 1: lose 20 lbs (which really shows on me - my thighs are so-so grateful and more dream me with 20 lbs less)

step 2: lose another 10-20 lbs more (that's like the finishing touch - to my not perfect but pretty close to my best me, according to ME :)

STEP 3: MAINTAIN!!!!!!!!!!! And THAT'S my biggest challenge!!!!! - all the comments slidding on my back.. THAT is when i'll MOST need Spark i think - no, i KNOW


Meanwhile.. i'll chill a bit. It's ****OK*** if i don't spin a wheel every day. That's not what my journey is about.

MY JOURNEY.. (and hopefully DESTINATION :)
- to be soooooooooooo comfortable in my body - no shame. Fit, toned, vibrant, alive, healthy
- to be HAPPY - 90% of the time (the other 10% is to fully enjoy that 90%)
- to be an OPTIMIST - or to discover myself as such (the perception of those who know me well is that i am; MY perception of myself is sooo not that (but then again, i had a twisted past - so... that's part of the journey - seeing myself as i AM - not as others lead me to believe (ok, parents - surely non-intentionally - so non-intention, should NOT make me suffer now them - thus adjusting my self perceptions, to suit me, happy self-loving me :)

and... lastly
- CONTRIBUTE!!! - to make the world better, to share what i learn, to help other, to soothe others, contribute to THEIR growths.. who in turn can contribute... - and make.. the world better :)

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DENYEL84 2/9/2011 5:43AM

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GWENAEL 2/4/2011 8:35PM

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LUNADRAGON 2/2/2011 4:51PM

    Great blog, really focused looking over what is going on and making a plan!
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LESLIES537 2/2/2011 4:20PM

    Hey thanks for the shout out! Good for you on looking at what has and has not worked for you in the past. Evaluating this, and looking into what made you gain the weight back before is important in this journey. Keep yourself focused and you'll be able to reach ALL of your goals. You CAN and you WILL do this! emoticon

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CUTTINABBY 2/1/2011 8:19PM

    You have nailed some key points about losing gaining maintaining and emotional eating . I fight with each one of them too .
I agree it's easy to lose focus while sparking yet when we need the support it's always there .
You have figured out what you need to do that works for you and I beleieve you can do it all again !!!
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ASHLEYW_206 2/1/2011 6:25PM

    Good for you for knowing the best steps to take! It's a big challenge to find what works best for us, and it sounds like you're on the right track!
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