Saturday, January 29, 2011
so many of you have been checking on me, figured i should do an up-date
can you believe it's been 29 days? 4 weeks ago today
i can't believe it
i really can't believe that i'm so down and out yet
chest/lung trouble-- it hurts so bad-- if they told me they would cut me open to find and fix the damage, i'd be all over that-- just seems unreal that this is normal-- i can barely move yet- my chest hurts so bad- i'd still have to rate it at a 10 pain level-- sheesh- dr is giving me percocet in supplies of 75 at a time..........wish they would help!
feet/ankles- still swollen- actually felt my toes for the first time wed........dr is still just saying it's from being too sedentary-- so i'm trying to walk around the house more
fingers- nerve damage- i did do tests at the hospital wed for the nerve damage-- i see the surgeon mon- but my dr had the results thurs- he says they will have to do surgery- from what i'm reading on-line- arm/elbow will be in a splint 6 weeks.........wow
there's some huge psychological problems with all this
i'm totally dependent on others- i haven't even gotten a rental car yet- with these feet, i can't really twist around to look, i'd have no business driving
of course- i can't go car shopping
so i really am grounded
it snows- and i have to ignore it- and hope someone shows up offering to do it- the 2 girls next door did it twice- but haven't been back since- i had a guy who showed up- after i paid him and he left- i realized he only did about half of it! i did try and shovel the back porch- there's so much ice, it's really dangerous-of course, i fell- skinned both knees, bruised my shoulder, huge bump on my head- can't even explain how long it took me to get up-- well, now it's all icy out there again-- not sure what to do-- it's so dangerous- much less- it makes me look like the dregs of the street not taking care of my stuff!!
i live in a 2 story house-- i'm still sleeping sitting up in a chair in the living rm........regardless, it freaks me out to even think of being upstairs sleeping in my bed-- i also won't go up there and shower after dark-- took me a while to figure this out- it's just too scary to "be up there"- i'm totally vulnerable right now- if someone did break in or something- i can not even try and protect myself.....that's scary- that is really freaking me out
let's see- what else
absolutely amazes me how few people i've heard from- i'm the care taker- you stub your toe- i'm sending a card, etc........none of all of them people have called or e-mailed or nothing
that's messing with my head!
my kids are helping- trucking out here to take me to dr- going shopping- etc
my parents are old- 78 and 80-- i didn't tell them right away cuz i figured i'd be fine in no time- and then i'd tell them
well sheesh.......now it's like a lie- the longer you lie.........the harder it is to take back- do i tell them now- or- just wait til i'm 100%??
i need movie lists- i'm renting movies-- i've done all of the in demand movies......so if you have ideas of what i could rent.........bring em on!
thanx for listening........i can honestly say- if it weren't for my great spark buddies--i'd be in a lot of trouble.........you guys are holding me together!