Thursday, January 27, 2011
One of my resolutions this year was made because I remembered something my Dad told me after he was diagnosed with oral cancer. He was going through radiation therapy at the time and gave me some advice for a friend who had received some rather unpleasant news about his health and was depressed about the treatment options he was given.
Dad told me that he wouldn't focus on all the things he could no longer do because of the cancer because if he did he wouldn't be able to continue with his treatment. He said to tell my friend that while he could no longer do some of the things he had enjoyed before his diagnosis, he was ALIVE and he intended to enjoy every minute of it that he had left.
I was thinking about that at the beginning of this year because 2011 marks my Dad's 10th year cancer free. I started thinking about how much I enjoy my life. Because I really do. I enjoy myself and my life and even though I often make a fool of myself or act like a dork, I don't usually care because I have fun and it doesn't matter to me what anyone else thinks of that.
But then I realized that although this is true of most things in my life, it wasn't true across the board. There have been things I wanted to learn, but I have limited myself because I worry what strangers will think of me if I fail when trying something new. I usually do the right thing, but I worry occasionally about doing something I know to be right because it might offend someone.
Why should I worry? When I really think about the things I haven't done for fear of looking silly, I realize that there is nothing to worry about. I have only so much time and I want to enjoy all of it. I don't want to look back years down the road and wonder what I could have accomplished if I hadn't cared what strangers thought of me in passing. I want to fully ENJOY MY LIFE without worrying that I will look like an idiot. I resolved to do just that.
So, tonight I tried my first group exercise class ever. I went to Zumba...and let me assure you, I looked like a fool. But I laughed and I had a great time and I kept going for the full 60 minutes and I am definitely going back next week. Because, what do I care if I look like a dork, as long as I'm having fun?