Thursday, January 27, 2011
Yesterday was Emma's birthday and snow came especially for it! The snow was heavy as we had Thundersnow and then we lost power around 8pm until some time after 1 in the morning. This morning I woke up around 430 and as I knew I had to go to work. Nature called and after I was done there, I washed my hands and happened to look in the mirror. This is what I saw:
Kinda freaked me out. I asked DH, "did you do that?" Joking of course. One of my nurse friends on FB said it looked like a broken capillary. It doesn't hurt much at least. One of my other friends said it looked freakish. Guess I be a freak, eh?
I ended up not going to work today as we had no power. I also didn't go to my doctor's appt as it was near work (work is about 45 minutes from here and doctor's office is nearby). I was lucky enough to be able to talk with my doctor on the phone though. She is so
! We talked for about 10 minutes and once she was sure I was ok mentally, she allowed me to reschedule my appointment for next Friday. My self esteem is sucking right now and I'm a bit low. But I'm doing my best not to let it get me too down. We are celebrating Em's birthday this Saturday at Chuck E Cheese (please pray for me
) as I was having issues getting the Tea Party location secured. I start feeling upset and down when I try and figure out what the heck I might wear to her party that will fit and won't have me feeling like a cow.
I will confess that yesterday after shopping for Em at Walmart, I sat in my car for quite a bit stuffing my face with Doritos and Nutter Butter cookies(I even remember reading others blogging about doing this but I honestly hadn't done this in a very long time). My eating is out of control and I did tell my doctor about it this morning along with my concerns about my depression. I hate feeling like this.
I'm sorry I am not able to be more upbeat in this blog. I know that I am blessed to be alive and to have a beautiful little girl whom I love dearly. I am just having a time of it right now. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a brighter day. I know that God loves me and He has a plan for me...
One day at a time...
prayer will get me through!