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    JUNEBUGABEE   31,470
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random thoughts for today

Thursday, January 27, 2011

so little time! story of all our lives. or is the story just one of bad management of our resources? hmm.... that's a challenging thought. that maybe i'm just wasting time and energy instead of actually not having enough. in many ways.

crap, another heavy thing to work through. lol. i'm doing that a lot these days, and it's ok. i have work to do. i have time for that- theoretically.
i plan on living a lot while i'm here, for however long that is. and assuming nothing happens, i have time.

what matters more is what you do with the time you have, and as long as i'm always moving forward, that's success.

onward and upward. great little run this morning. feeling super pumped about my marathon training program starting up next week. the real work begins. i'm even going to incorporate some speedwork and tempo running into my routine, which will be totally new to me. but i think it will seriously improve my running, too. mix it up, you know?

coworker was saying i must be really motivated-- didn't know how to respond. i'm not that motivated-- i'm just committed. that's what i should have said. there are days when i lack motivation, but i don't run because i'm motivated to. i run because it makes sense, because it feels good, because i feel strong and powerful and victorious, because i get stronger and faster, and because i just plain love it. not because i'm motivated. i might NOT run because i'm NOT motivated to on a given day, but it doesn't work in the reverse.

anyway, makes sense to me. it's internalized, it's crystallized, it's rock-solid and the foundation of my newfound identity. i'm shaping myself around this running thing, and i like myself more and more each day. seriously. i'm beginning to love me. that's worth it all. screw motivation, or lack thereof.
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