Tuesday, January 25, 2011
It is eight weeks until my back surgery (7 weeks and 6 days)...and, I am beginning to feel the apprehension and anxiety of it all.
I have peace about the surgery in general (a relief from the constant back pain and misery); I have peace about the finances, mostly (health insurance, savings and tax refund will cover pretty much everything); I have peace about my "aftercare", generally (my dad said he was going to come for a time--don't know how long, my church family said they would set up a service schedule to meet all my needs!! what a blessing they are!!); and, I have peace about being out of work for 6-weeks--NOT!!
I don't know what it is about me--but, I cannot imagine being off work for 6 weeks! This is really bothering me a lot. I was unemployed for the first three months after my roommate and I moved here to Houston. I got a little lazy, I got a little crazy, and, finally, I returned to my right mind and got a job (that I still have today--18+ years later!!). I guess I have somehow defined myself as my job--these folks are my extended family...even the clients are precious to me.
But, I know that this is probably God's way of "shaking me up" to remind me that I am not just my job!! That I can allow others to take care of me for a change (I am usually the one "taking care of" others). I am also very concerned about getting to weight goal...
I lost 2 pounds last week--I am pleased...but, hoped for more. I calculated a loss of 2 pounds a week for the next 7 weeks and I will be around 145lbs...only 5 pounds from goal. That is doable--if I follow my plan (eating, workouts)!! I also want to do another Daniel Fast. I am still thinking of when...but, I think this will certainly help me focus spiritually, mentally and physically!!
So, I continue my journey...and, countdown to a HUGE pit stop on that journey...and, then recover from there!!
blessings and peace, All.