Long Dark Winter so far and plan to get back to the light
Monday, January 24, 2011
Haven't been on SP much in awhile. At first because I was doing great with out it. Making healthy decisions, working out lots. Easily lost the little bit of weight I put on when injured in August and was able to work out again. It was nothing more than a minor bump in the road.
Then came Nov and Dec. I got sick, had many Dr apts, and gained some weight. Finally they found out my nausea was morning sickness, and that it was just "more severe than normal". Also claimed my bleeding was normal as well ( a light cycle for over a week). A week later found out while at ER again, due to bleeding and cramping getting more sever, oh sorry we were wrong, you had a miscarriage. That is why I was so sick. I had an ectopic pregnancy that was being forced out of my body. They know this because of the scaring on my tube, that wasn't there two months ago which also most likely means I will not have kids the "normal" way, since the other tube and ovary are gone. Found this out Xmas eve.
So, needles to say baby daddy and were having at tough time. We care for each other, but are not serious. We would have kept and loved a little one no doubt, but, he suddenly saw it as lets get married I love more than anything lets plan a future. I was so in shock and upset over a third failed pregnancy that it was hard to get out of bed let alone plan next week. Thinking about the future was just to much. We are only friends now. Good friends, who talk everyday, and I have no doubt we will stay as such.
Since this my immune system has crashed, and I am depressed. Have had the flu and now shingles. So I am on Antibiotics, Antivirals, and steroids to try and help the healing processes along. The only thing that keeps me not getting sick from the meds is high fat foods. Ya, yummy alfredo, real butter. But boo the calories.
Total weight gained right now is 30 lbs. 10 from bloating on steroids which I know will come off fast next week when I stop since it is water weight, and 20 in "real" lbs. For now will be happy with not gaining any more.
Amazingly the thing that has helped me the most was cat sitting for a SP friend last week. It forced me out of the house no matter how cold twice a day everyday, and gave me some sort of purpose. I was getting up at a decent hour, plus, kittys always cheer me up. Reminded me how important goals and having purpose are. I know with good achievable goals I can get through this in time.
So my plan to get back to the light:
1. Get out of house everyday, get dressed nice on days I don't work.
2. Min 10 minutes of fitness per day other than walking to and from work. Preferably Yoga in AM to help me center, on days I don't work it min. of 20 minutes.
3. Keep seeing counsler once a week
4. Try to eat smaller portions at each of my 6 meals a day (due to medicine timings)
5. Start planning for future
1. Trip to CO Feb 25th-March 5th to see friends and ski
2. Plan where to do masters school, and what kind I want to focus on
6. Apply for pet sitting job I was told about by a friend.