Monday, January 24, 2011
So, My original goal was to lose 35 pounds on SparkPeople. When I reached that goal one month early (in November 2010), I immediately decided to stretch my goal to lose an additional 12 pounds and a healthy BMI. Yesterday, I stepped on the scale and saw that I am now only 4.4 pounds away from my healthy BMI. Instead of being happy and proud, the first thing I thought is "Should I keep losing?"
There was a point when I was 20 that I lost a lot of weight (due to severe depression.) People asked me what was wrong; some told me I looked "sick" or "funny." Well, I was sick! I was very sad! Of course there were the others that said, "Wow, Michelle. You look great. You've lost so much weight." I could not share with them that it wasn't because I had a plan, that I had a goal, it was because I was extremely depressed. That weight is about 10-12 pounds lighter than where I am right now.
Breaking a weight barrier to return the 140's would probably take me back to my weight in 9th grade, so it's not familiar to me. There is a part of me that thinks there is something wrong with me for not being happy with the success I've achieved (nearly 38 pounds since late August 2010.) There is another part of me that things, "Man, this has not been too hard. I should keep losing." There is a part of me that is not sure I "need" to keep losing weight. But right now, I feel very confused. And all this confusion is about whether I should lose another 4-8 pounds after reaching my healthy BMI in 4.4 fewer pounds.
So I thought, I will ask my SparkFriends. They are people that are all committed to being healthy and active and "well." I need some opinions on whether I am developing some strange side effect of weight loss where you don't feel comfortable "stopping." Has anyone else gone through this? Should I stretch my goal again? Also, the article on "round numbers" being a source of encouragement made me think, "Why the heck do I want to be 154? That is NOT a round number?"
OK, now I rambling. Anyways. Any advice would be much appreciated, guys. Thanks in advance for your support and your valuable opinions!