Saturday, January 22, 2011
I logged on today again. It took me all day but I am here. I rarely get into a depressed mood so I am not sure why I have descended into this funk. I just read through all the nice comments on my last blog entry and it was very encouraging. It was especially nice to see so many new people had stopped by and taken the time to give me a few minutes of encouragement.
The new season of biggest loser has started on tv and it is helping to start my motivations some too. I haven't managed to start moving yet but that is what got me signing back on here again. It also helped to get me excited about trying again. I actually took the time to set up a log for exercise. Then I set it aside and that is where it has stayed for the last two weeks.
I also found a new show called Heavy that seems interesting. I figure if I can find enough things that make me want to start doing things again maybe I will start moving.
This going to sound horrible, but the biggest part of me wanting to lose weight is to get a life again, however with all my friends and family not wanting to spend time with me unless I pry it out of them, I am feeling as if there is no sense in bothering. How pathetic does that sound?
I know that if I lose weight I will do more stuff on my own, but how fun is that. I have to do almost everything on my own anyways. The reason for losing weight is something you have to do for yourself. I know this more than most. I have had my greatest successes when I did it for me, but I just can't find that reason to care as much as I used to.
Letting it all out here is helping. It seams strange that with friends and family so close in distance to me, that I should feel more connected to friends that I have never met in person. All the nice words and encouragement really make a difference. So this evening after I get of this damn machine that has taken up so much of my time in non productive ways, I am going to get out my exercise log and pick one of the items that I have written down and do it.
I want to make the progress of at least being able to walk to the bathroom without huffing and puffing. I can do that. It will take time, but I will do it. Thanks so much for the kind words and for all the great suggestions. See you all again tomorrow.