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    KAREN_NY   37,538
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Destructive Coping vs. Productive Coping


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Saturday, January 22, 2011

On 11/29 I was pumping up my jogging pace and dreaming of a half marathon. I was workin' it and superconsistent for the next 3 weeks. Then my older dog died, Christmas commitments washed over me, visitors came & went, my younger dog was hit by a truck, and my father had spinal surgery... all while the upstate NY winter wind chilled my bones.

Oh pity party. ** NOT! **

The thing is, Life Happens. It's not all bad, but it requires real coping skills, doesn't it?

There's Destructive Coping: Sleep erratically, grab whatever's edible when you need it, do a half-a$$ed job on the things you need to do, and then "treat" yourself with sleeping in or eating gobs of chocolate & cream when you finally have a moment to yourself. None of this leaves energy or time for exercise, and there is no plan to make any, because the days Just Happen To You, as you fly by the seat of your pants.

Pretty soon 5 weeks have gone by and you don't remember what you were achieving before. Now that you're ready to "get back on track," you've got to claw your way through undone laundry, purge a stack of untended email you won't get to anyway, reassemble your workout plan, suffer through hamstring cramps when you finally get to run again; then reality-check those credit card bills, buy all new groceries, and find a way to tactfully tell those you've been doting on that you're rebooting your sanity. And you've got to make this shift without feeling selfish about it.

Then there's Productive Coping. I imagine that this includes taking your hour-long workout and simply trimming to a half-hour when time is tight (instead of skipping it altogether). It probably involves setting priorities and doing the important things well. It's sure to include using a ready list of healthy quick meals that you actually like. I'll bet there are even some requests to others for help with the laundry or driving. And of course it's full of forgiveness and humour.

When you're ready to return to prior routines, you gracefully and gratefully add a little more workout time. After all, you've got some energy to spare now. You catch up on a few tasks, with a quick but sincere thanks to those who've waited for you. You get together with the family members who helped you get through it, commisserate a little, laugh through a nice dinner together, and get a good night's sleep.


Any dream, notion, or plan of achieving a new level of fitness has got to include ways to succeed anyway when the going gets tough. Fitness does not happen in a vacuum! It happens amid Real Life. If you're gonna run, you've got to do it in the body you've got. (Thanks John Bingham.) If you're gonna achieve, you've got to do it from where you are right now.

Right now, I'm in bed with my laptop, looking at my November/December achievements and no longer thinking, "WTH happened?" I know what happened. And now it's time to do it differently. Not tomorrow, not "next time," but NOW.

Off to the treadmill, and to rock the day!
K:)
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYADOG1 1/24/2011 11:47PM

    Thanks for this! It is so true and exactly what I needed to hear. My condolences on your pups. I lost my old dog and companion of 12 years in December following the loss of my mother in law in Oct. & am in the middle of some legal junk with my ex (not a nice guy) about my daughter. So easy to use life as an excuse and let myself off the hook with diet and exercise. Let life happen to me like you said. I don't need to take it easy, I've been doing that for the past couple years since I had my son. LOL, break time is officially over! Rock on! emoticon emoticon

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POLARCARDS7 1/24/2011 10:06PM

    Great thoughts! Thanks for sharing!

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ASPETG 1/24/2011 9:30PM

  The first step is always the hardest. It's keeping my pumped up so I can continue.

http://www.shedsho
me.com

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MELLYBEANS0919 1/24/2011 9:05PM

    This blog is for me. Thank you.

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SLIMSOLO10 1/24/2011 8:51PM

    All so true and hits the nail on the head for me. thanks!

Comment edited on: 1/24/2011 8:51:39 PM

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ALEXANDERLISA 1/24/2011 8:49PM

    Great blog, and O so true!!


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WILSLM70 1/24/2011 7:51PM

    Such a great blog... thank you it was just what I needed to read. Too often I let life get in the way.

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COROZALOVE 1/24/2011 6:55PM

  My thoughts exactly,I will change the things I can and learn to love the things I can't. emoticon

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CAROLINEAT50 1/24/2011 6:46PM

    What a great post. So important for me to read it. I can do things wonderfully when everything is "perfect" in my life (i.e. nothing is rocking my boat!). It's when the waters get rough that I have often fallen back on bad habits. Thanks for making it so clear to me that we have to prepare for those times (because they really are the rule instead of the exception, aren't they?) and make a plan. So sorry about your puppies. :-(

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MUSIKGIRL 1/24/2011 5:52PM

  A lot of people would benefit from this blog. emoticon

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KLONG8 1/24/2011 5:38PM

    You're right on the money here. Thanks for sharing.

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RUTHAHONA 1/24/2011 5:18PM

    So sorry about your doggies. Way to stay UP even when most people would descend into the pity party big time.

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ELENA_DIEM 1/24/2011 3:51PM

    Perfect timing for me, since I'm off kilter w/ my routine and trying to be productive rather than destructive - Great blog!! emoticon

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ELENA_DIEM 1/24/2011 3:51PM

    Perfect timing for me, since I'm off kilter w/ my routine and trying to be productive rather than destructive - Great blog!! emoticon

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LILACBREEZIN 1/24/2011 3:36PM

    I can sooo relate! Why is it so easy to do that? It only makes us feel worse! Thanks for the positive reminder.

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NIKKIG3 1/24/2011 3:34PM

    Awesome Blog.... I needed some inspiration today. thank you for sharing.

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DOGSHOETAT 1/24/2011 3:34PM

    That's awesome! Thanks for the insight.

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ELENA_DIEM 1/24/2011 3:32PM

    Perfect timing for me, since I'm off kilter w/ my routine and trying to be productive rather than destructive - Great blog!! emoticon

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ERICAELISE83 1/24/2011 3:09PM

    I needed this! Thanks!

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IMKFOX 1/24/2011 2:05PM

    Simply put, in the words of a good friend, "YOU ROCK!". Life does happen, and we have to find our way to success in the midst of it. Here's to a great jump start for you!
emoticon emoticon

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THIN2007 1/24/2011 1:42PM

  Wow! Karen that was inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Now I feel I can stop beating myself up for not being perfect and move on. Have a Blessed Day! R:)

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MORELIE 1/24/2011 1:23PM

    Great Blog! Thank you! I really needed this reality check.

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DWILCZKO 1/24/2011 1:18PM

  stay positive!

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4ROSES4 1/24/2011 1:16PM

  It was good to read you inspiring story. Thanks. emoticon

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4ROSES4 1/24/2011 1:10PM

  It was good to read you inspiring story. Thanks. emoticon

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PINHEAD7 1/24/2011 12:28PM

    emoticon Good work

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LOKIBEAR10 1/24/2011 12:08PM

    That is so true! What a great reminder!

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SCS9261 1/24/2011 12:00PM

    Just what i needed to hear today!

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RUNNER4LIFE08 1/24/2011 11:39AM

    Very well put.... emoticon

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EARTHMOTHR 1/24/2011 11:32AM

    Very motivational and spot on!!! I've been to a few pity parties and all I get from them are major regrets. Thanks for reminding us of the importance of moving through whatever happens.

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KEN1965 1/24/2011 11:27AM

    Thanks for sharing your blog with everyone. emoticon

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KIMMYLOU2012 1/24/2011 11:14AM

    Life is definitely washing over me right now and I have to remember what is really important and make time for me.

Thanks for bringing it back a dose of reality and who doesn't have life in the way?

Thanks!

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JADUNN68 1/24/2011 10:32AM

    Thanks for sharing. I definitely needed to read this. It puts things in perspective.

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4MEYEHEALTH 1/24/2011 10:02AM

    LOVE IT!!!!

Thank you!

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ANNIE7205 1/24/2011 9:57AM

    Wonderful! This is exactly what I'm struggling with right now. Thanks!

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SMELIOT 1/24/2011 9:14AM

    SO well put! Thank you for writing this - you are amazing to have been able to put it so succinctly, and with humor. Thanks!

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MRST92207 1/24/2011 8:51AM

  Great Blog! emoticon

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VERONICAS_GOALS 1/24/2011 8:44AM

    emoticon

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BOOTYLISCIOUS3 1/24/2011 7:27AM

    great blog. love the way you put it!

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TRINIGAL22 1/24/2011 6:42AM

    Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry about your dog. emoticon emoticon

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RUNNINGAGAIN12 1/24/2011 6:20AM

    so sorry to hear about your dogs. you've found the way to being positive. great job!

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NIKKI2021 1/24/2011 5:42AM

    wow, and thank you for sharing. Love your attitude. x emoticon

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CHELLEG10FIT2DA 1/24/2011 5:17AM

    Wow! I needed to read this. Need to try those productive coping skills today. Thank you for this insightful blog!

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CHELLEG10FIT2DA 1/24/2011 5:11AM

    Wow! I needed to read this. Need to try those productive coping skills today. Thank you for this insightful blog!

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CHELLEG10FIT2DA 1/24/2011 5:08AM

    Wow! I needed to read this. Need to try those productive coping skills today. Thank you for this insightful blog!

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DARLING-J 1/24/2011 1:07AM

    I - LOVE - THIS - BLOG! This completely exemplifies my last three or four months (the destructive coping, have you been a fly on my wall???). And you are EXACTLY right on the productive techniques. In fact, I'll take your advice right now.

I'm off to bed, so I can awaken well rested and ready to conquer tomorrow. Have a beautiful Monday!

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MOMOF3NEWYORK 1/24/2011 12:10AM

    Thank you. I needed to read this right now. January has been "hell on wheels" for me, lots of difficult transitions, a death in the family, punctuated last week by a wicked bad stomach bug that put me in bed for 2 days & feeling icky for 3 more, "ruining" my great exercising streak. Oh well, I'm better & getting back to my "new normal" routine, finally. GO US!

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WEEZYB7881 1/23/2011 11:42PM

    thanks for sharing.

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JOANGELI 1/23/2011 11:09PM

    Good comments. Thank you for sharing!

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SJDROPPINGLBS 1/23/2011 10:18PM

    I have seen no one put it better. Wow, you just lit a fire in my brain, and I love it. Keep it coming and you go, girl!!

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