Reflections on Chapter 6 in The Art of Extreme Self Care.
"The Absolute No List" is a list of activities that you no longer do, don’t want to do, or would like to give up.
(The original list I made was ridiculously long, so I have just picked the best ones and put them here. But this is still long, so you might want to get some snacks and go to the bathroom first.)
Things I absolutely no longer do:
- I no longer hang out with people who make me feel like shit.
- I no longer allow relatives drop by unannounced. (Yes, that is related to the one above.)
- I no longer get involved in other people's personal drama, a.k.a. try to “rescue” people.
- I no longer put things on C/C that I don't pay off in a month.
- I no longer martyr myself at work.
- I no longer feel guilty about my life choices or use my past mistakes to hurt myself.
- I no longer accept hand me downs from family that are not my taste. (I give myself permission to surround myself with only things I absolutely love!)
- I no longer allow anybody to hold money over my head.
- I no longer allow anybody to devalue my contribution to a romantic relationship because I do not make a certain amount of money.
- I no longer feel badly about not fitting into social norms and conventions.
- I no longer take calls while I'm with spending time with a friend.
Things that I no longer do for the most part, but sometimes I slip up. These are works in progress:
- Hold on to things “I might need one day" - and then never use them! I have made HUGE progress in this area, but once and while I catch myself hoarding something. Then I either use it and enjoy it, take care of it as it was meant to be, or give it away.
- Stop gossiping at work. This is only a problem at work. I get sucked in to stupid conversations because I don’t relate to my co-workers on other levels. Such a waste of time and energy!
- Allow people to pressure me into making purchases that are not in my budget. This is hard because I am still recovering from shopping addiction and since my anxiety levels are very high, I am very susceptible compulsive shopping. Yuck!
Things I would like to give up:
- Check work emails while on vacation. Guilty as charged!
- Living too much in the future. I strive to be more fully present in the moment.