A reminder of why I keep on keepin' on.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Well...as positive & upbeat as yesterday's status was, the day quickly turned to sh*t. As some know, my Mom fell about midnight on Mon & Shayne & I went & got her up & in bed. As I was starting my workout Tue morn, I get a call from my Aunt (they live together) saying Mom feels she needs to go to the hospital which pretty much tells me she's in pain bad if she WANTS to go. She can't walk let alone get down the 5 porch steps so they call in like 4 add'l fire fighters & get her on this tarp thing with handles to carry her out (yep, Mom's a big lady but the crazy/scary thing is she's only 15#s more than me). She's crying out in pain (even the morphine in the hospital didn't take it all away), peeing everywhere (fairly incontinent at this time) & apologizing repeatedly. And that was just at the house. Needless to say, the day did not improve much.
She IS okay. They took X-rays & no broken bones. It's always amusing to see how amazed the Dr.s & techs are when they do see her X-rays. It's pretty much bone on bone @ the knee. BUT, she can't get knee surgery cuz of her heart & can't risk the heart until she loses weight & she does not care to lose weight...and there is my Mom's viscous cycle & my motivation. The whole time I was at the hospital I was thinking, 'This is why I keep on keepin' on. I may not lose weight but I never want to be to that point.' My mom didn't make it better by saying I have bad knees like her. When I disagreed she said hers weren't bad in her 40s either. But I am WAY more active than she EVER was. I do TurboFire & Zumba for crap's sake! (But it still scared me.)
And the worst thing is, I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic. Due to the regularity of her problems & the fact that she does nothing about it, I'm starting to become apathetic. And I don't like the way that makes me feel. I think the 1st step there is try to get a little more of God in my life because I'm just becoming too self-concerned & negative.
Well, didn't really intend to write a 'blog' but thanks for being there & listening & understanding when no one else does.