Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Another zero loss - that would have crushed me before - not now. I really don't care how long it takes anymore .... I guess because I used to think that goal day was the day I could go back to my "normal". Well developing this NEW NORMAL is tons of work, tons of ups and downs, tons of blips but MEGATONS of feel good.
I am currently on a sleep challenge. I am doing the first week of the sleep challenge. My problem is I wake up over and over and I am always tired. On average I wake up- so far 6 times a night....I've always known I have a sleep problem - was tested - have some sleep apnea (not severe tho). This sleep diary and the challenge to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time - I am finding extremely challenging. Its ok tho - if I have to do the first week over and over - I don't care - any effort to fix this is better than where I am and where I have been. I used to be so down on myself for so many percieved failings - what the hell... why? I have been asking myself these questions alot lately - not getting answers - and that is telling in itself about all that wasted negative energy - its just useless.... I am ok...I can reach my goals....be happy ...don't worry now that tune is gonna be in my head all day lol....