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    MSTINARENEE   13,703
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IN IT to WIN IT


Saturday, January 15, 2011

I was always the fat kid. I do not know when it started, but looking back, I just always remember being bigger than the other kids. I remember trying my best friends clothes on when I was 11, I barely could get her shirt over my head and don't even get me started on the pants! emoticon Middle school and high school were not any better. I was always the big girl. I was well liked, but was always self conscious of my size. I would never talk to boys smaller than me, in high school that was most boys. I remember a boy saying if I actually lost weight he would date me. Needless to say, I didn't loose weight and we never dated. I didn't know how to loose weight. I tried eating like my friends, realizing they were able to eat anything and everything and not gain an ounce. I envied them, thinking why I had to be in this body. emoticon College quickly gain and the freshman 15 became the freshman 30. It was not until my senior year that I actually lost weight. It took a semester in Florida, fun in the sun, for me to drop 50 pounds. But of course, not knowing why I lost it, I quickly gained it back. Fast forward to getting married and having two beautiful children, I was over 300 pounds. emoticon My mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, instead of loosing, I just gained. Before she died she asked me to get healthy, after her death, I went the opposite direction, ate out of grief.

One morning, after crying myself to sleep, I felt different. I was no longer sad, I was happy. I was happy that I had my mother and was able to share time with her. I was thankful that she stuck by me through thick and thin, no matter what. Being a single mother is difficult and she never gave up. I was happy that morning and decided it was going to be the first day of my new life. March 3rd, 2010 I was 320 pounds. I started working with a program at my local hospital, started working out regularly and getting my mind right about loosing my mother. I started to appreciate life, I was thankful for being alive and waking up every morning. I always thought I would be the fat kid, never having a chance to be healthy. Today I weigh in at 184 and have been here for the last 3 months. emoticon

Through my life I have realized that you are not destined to be one way or another, you can be anything you want. Just because you were born into a certain family, does not mean you have to go down that same road. You make your own decisions in life. Forever I was allowing my situation to dictate who I was. Now, I make positive situations everywhere I go. I make good things happen, for me!

If you were ever that person who thought you couldn't do it, remember that I was once there too. I did it and I am still doing it. You can do anything you set your mind to, believe and you will achieve. emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AVERYHADLEIGH 2/24/2011 9:55AM

    I just happened upon your page and ended up reading your blog post... you're an inspiration! I have had many of the same thoughts you address here although my problems with weight started more at the tail end of high school... I thought being 160lbs while all the other girls were 120 was just horrific. then I let it spiral a bit and now I'm determined to lose this weight once and for all. I'm going to think of your success every time I wonder if I can "get there." Congratulations on your success!

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BELLALUCIA 1/27/2011 9:33PM

    You are awesome! What foods did u eat to lose?

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TEALPEA 1/17/2011 4:15PM

    What a wonderful tribute to your mom, and especially to you. Thank you for sharing such inspiring words.

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