Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Hola Spark Nation! And Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noel, Happy New Year and all that jazz.
I have been away for awhile- and I have felt the missing spark in my life.
Let me recap: Both my husband and I got three-alarm chest infections/pneumonia. The cat got really sick with an illness that made her incontinent. (Yay! Cat pee! Everywhere!) Then the medication I had to give her twice a day- EVERYDAY -turned into a trauma for both of us. There was blood (from me) and sweat (also from me) and tears (yep- still me) and lots an’ lots of drool and dirty looks (from the cat). Then the car got a flat tire (just before a doctor’s appointment that we were already late for - I may add). I was stressed out, occasionally flipped out, worn out, out for the count and over and out.
In short December sucked.
Then the longer I was away the harder it seemed to log on- you know? I was just too exhausted. I didn’t have the energy to explain why I was away. Little things were making me cry all month- and I am not normally a cry-er. I just think that I had been carrying too much for too long (especially with my husband’s disability) and life in general got to be too much. So I checked out for a bit. Really - it was all I could do to go to work, come home, get food on the table and go to bed. Then repeat it all the next day. (Friends were saying to each other: “Remember Karla?” “Yeah” they would respond wistfully “she was nice.”)
I will confess to having a bit of a pity party for myself, nay, I think I worked myself up to a Pity Gala; complete with streamers, balloons an ice sculpture and skywriters. “It’s not fair!” I thought. “Life sucks” I thought some more. “Why me?” I might have mused on occasion.
But here’s the thing- I did not gain weight.
How about that? So even though I was not logging in I somehow had enough of SP imprinted on me that I did not dive into nachos for solace.
Mind you, I didn’t lose weight either - but considering everything I still feel amazed that I did not eat my body weight in Turtles (The delicious pecan-chocolaty goodness, not the reptiles of course).
I even hauled my poor battered emotional self to workouts and stuff.
I somehow kept going.
And now I am back. I started reading the Spark book that I just knew I had to save until I really needed it. I am taking it slow as all of that positivity makes me queasy (kidding- sort of). But it has been very thought provoking and challenging to read. I’ll keep you posted with any changes or goals that get made.
In closing, I hope there are still people reading this blog and that you haven’t given up on me!
And finally to all the people who joined my team that I (ulp!) co-lead, and to my co-leaders named and unnamed, I thank you for being there when I wasn’t. I hope I haven’t let you down too badly.