Sunday, January 09, 2011
Much has happened these last couple of months, major-life changing events, in fact.
My Dad, who was once my hero, has made a conscious effort to banish us from his life. I'll never understand how you can grow so cold to your own flesh and blood, but he has. It was very hurtful, but in reality, its his decision and there's nothing we can do about it. So, we let him have his way, we leave him alone and make no effort to contact him. Its hurtful, but survivable.
Of greater importance, and with much greater impact on my life, came the news that my dear husband has stage 4 cancer. Yeah, that was a huge blow. It would seem natural to ask how this could happen to someone so wonderful. But, we don't ask. We just trust the Lord to know what is best. We trust him to guide us and to care for us and to sustain us through this battle.
There are so many thoughts that go through your head when you hear this kind of news. An impending doom seems to enshroud you, your heart feels as though it will never recover, and you feel as though you will never again be happy. But, praise be to God, these feelings are temporary, or at least intermittent.
With every storm, one must look for and perhaps even search tirelessly for the silver lining. There is almost always one to be found. Beauty does rise from the ashes in time.
One positive thing that has come from this is that I've come to realize that I need to do everything I can to take care of myself so that I will have the strength to do the things that I must. I've let myself go for so long. I've been obese almost my entire adult life. His illness has shown me that I have to take my health very seriously.
I researched and purchased a Bodybugg Version 3. It has allowed me to take all that I have learned about weight management and healthy living and apply it scientifically. There is no guesswork. Calories consumed minus calories burned must equal a deficit or I won't lose weight. No mystery, no guesswork. If I work the program and upload my data throughout the day and analyze my calorie consumption vs my calorie burn, then I work out until I've met my calorie burn goal and have walked at least 10,000 steps. That's it. Nothing mysterious about it, just pure science.
I've finally found a system that works for me. I've lost over 8 pounds since December 1, right on track with my plan. I'm never hungry. I sometimes have to push myself to meet my calorie burn or my step goal. That's okay though. Anything as important as my health and my life is worth a little extra effort. Don't you think?
Sometimes I think we get too comfortable. Everything bumps along just fine and we don't really see the danger that lurks in our own lives clearly. The danger is real, I'm staring it in the face and I refuse to back down, not now not ever.
I have no control over my husband's cancer, I wish I did. But, I do have control over my obesity and my health. I have changed the way I cook. We eat almost entirely clean and whole foods. We've traded beef for turkey, fresh fish, legumes, etc. Don't get me wrong, its an adjustment. It takes longer to cook unprocessed foods but the result is SO worth it. Delicious, nutritious, wholesome foods. You have to go to the store more often because fresh fruits, veggies, fish, etc don't keep well. Yes, its a challenge at times, but so is being morbidly obese.
Yes, at times it is a challenge, but I am worth it! In 5 weeks I have released 8.4 pounds. It is a victory, it is inspiring, and it is keeping me motivated to exercise my butt off...literally.