Sunday, January 09, 2011
I know it's out of love, I now sometimes it's thought as a complement. I have lost a lot of weight, I know, I made my initial goal, that's true. When I was 228, I thought 168 was not even attainable in fact I though 175 was a fine goal, The truth is I set a goal with out knowing what I would look like, what my body would be like, etc.
I spent the day with a friend who is my weight loss buddy, she is awesome! She is also convinced that I just need to "tone up" which is true, but she is not supportive of me wanting to continue my weight lose journey. I am still over weight, my body fat % is still higher than I'd like. I do need to tone my body more now to get more muscle definition but I also have about 15-20lbs to lose. I am frustrated with her because I still know the difference between excess weight and poor muscle tone but because she sees it as vanity weight it's not necessary. I know when I was big there was always the "naturally thin" person who was yapping about having to lose weight and for a long time, I would roll my eyes and ignore them. One day I was talking about this with my very wise mother and she agreed that it was annoying, but brought the point that who are we to say when a person is comfortable with their body. That point hit home with me like a lightening bolt and since that very conversation i try never to poo-poo a person about their own weight goals. I have set a new weight loss goal for my new year, the last 15-25 (subject to change) This includes the 10 I put on during balance and the holidays. I'm sad because I have stopped sharing my goals with her and don't want to say a thing about my new goals because she thinks I am somehow doing damage to myself. I am one of the lucky ones; I carry my weight very evenly and I lost it very evenly (except I no longer have a booty) never looked as heavy as I was, maybe that's the issue still.