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    CYNNANE   22,177
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The Worst Lie I Tell Myself: Fat and Happy

Thursday, January 06, 2011

My biggest problem is consistency. I get all excited stick with a plan for a few days, a couple weeks, but never a full month. I lose a few pounds, have a bad weekend and say "screw it I want macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and a beer!" and then never look back.

As I struggle with consistency I have noticed that I make too many excuses. The main one being "I'd rather eat and drink what I want and be happy and fat" That is a lie. I need to make sure I remember that is a lie. I tend to tell myself that to justify another snack, or a piece of candy when I should have an apple, or another glass of wine on a stressful night. I tell myself I should let myself be happy, and who cares if I'm fat....well I do! I feel it everytime I get dressed up to go to a party or out with friends. I feel it in a job interview knowing my pants don't fit correctly. I feel it when I hear my thighs rubbing as I walk down the hall. I feel it when my friends get hit on and I'm just the fat friend. I'm not fat and happy....I'm just over weight and using food as a comfort.
Now that I have realized this really is an excuse and only used for justifying my poor nutrition choices I have begun to remind myself this is a lie.
I did it last night! It was late, and I was bored and snacky. I walked into the kitchen at about 9:00 after I knew I had already gone over my calories for the day (not by much, but I had gone out to dinner for a friend's birthday and indulged a bit). I looked at the refrigerator, then turned around, told myself I wasn't really hungry, I didn't need anything else to eat, turned the light off and walked away! Normally I wouldn't have just picked something "small" like an ounce of cheese or a few crackers. Not a bad choice, but when I was already over calories and not really hungry I knew I didn't NEED it.
I am at a very uncomfortable weight and want a change. My mini goals should help me with little successes that keep me on track for my ultimate weight goal. Right now I'm going with 10%. I'm down two pounds so I'm on my way!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
REFOCUS92711 1/6/2011 1:31PM

    Mindless, bored eating is my downfall too. Good for yout o say no to them! I had the same thing happen to me last night... I wasnt over on calories for the day, but I was really close to the max... so I grabbed a little apple instead of the chips.
Way to go girl!

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B_TWLGHT 1/6/2011 1:22PM

    that's AMAZING will power. keep it up! emoticon

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CYNNANE 1/6/2011 11:42AM

  I like that idea! My biggest problem is the "I'm really not hungry." Mindless bored eating is my downfall.

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YRINA03 1/6/2011 11:37AM

    One of the things i'm doing this time around, is filling my refrigerator with pictures and post its. I have my new Before picture, and an old one from two years ago when i was much smaller. My notes also say "You are not really hungry" "It is WAY to late to eat" and "Don't listen to your Cravings". Trust me, those little reminders have helped me sooo much

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