Thursday, January 06, 2011
A New Year always seems like a good time to begin new journeys. It is always seems so easy at first and then you realize how much hard work it really is ~ even when you have embarked on this journey once before. ;)
My New Year begins with one less organ, my gallbladder. Apparently it decided to give out and stop working. Problem is it took me many, many, many (too many) months to go to the doctor to find out why I was always sick.
I also gained back 20 lbs of the 60 lbs I lost. This is a little disappointing but I know what I was (or rather was not) doing. I am not trying to make excuses for gaining the weight back but rather I know what behaviors I really need to focus on changing...and these ones will be much harder than past behaviors.
Some positive things I was doing....I continued to drink a ton of water, continued to not drink caffine (been caffine free since March 2009) and ate fruits and veggies with 2 out of 3 meals.
Some not so positive things (and these are the behaviors I really need to change)....I ate when I felt sick, stressed, overwhelmed or any other bad emotion. I worked a ton of overtime at work. I did not exercise consistently. I did not put myself and my health before my job.
Now I cannot say the whole year was awful. There were some really good times. There were times when I was exercising regularily for several months at a time, making good food choices, etc. The problem was this was not consistent. I would have to say that the last 6 months of the year were really hard on me and I was always ill which for some reason gives me free license to eat anything and everything I want including...frozen pizza, candy, chips, and a ton of Chipotle. Any comfort food was up for grabs!
I knew what I was doing but just really didn't care. I reasoned that I felt sick and needed something to make myself feel better. I have realized I really need a new coping skill when I feel sick and tired....not sure what that is but I feel I must prepare for these feelings in advance in order to lose this weight. I don't have an answer today but I will be working on it.
So ~ the New Year! It is a time to begin again. I had my gallbladder removed and now realize how sick I had really been all those months before. I feel so much better and ready to start focusing on me. My job is the same but different. I will need to remember to put myself first and not the work I do. I need to be healthy and being healthy definately affects my mood and general state of mind.
Changes I have made so far: spent last weekend cooking healthy meals and portioned them out. They are in my freezer and I feel pretty good about the food choices I have made this week. I have found that I don't want to snack on sweets in the office when I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed. I have more energy (as much as I can still recovering). Everytime I get a meal out or heat it up I feel like I have given myself some love. Cooking and eating the food I make for myself makes me feel like I am giving the gift of love to myself.
I am feeling better. Still have some pains when I am exhusted. Still trying to figure out what I can and cannot eat (although not having too many problems with this considering everything has been really healthy). Still waiting until I can exercise (got the new Zumba for the Wii for Christmas!!).
Overall ~ I think I am on the up swing from the end of the last year. I am looking forward to this year and looking forward to continuing my weight loss journey. It has been a bumpy ride and I am hoping that this year the road will be a tad bit smoother!
Happy New Year to all those out there and I wish you success in your own weight loss journey!