Tuesday, January 04, 2011
For some reason those two emotions almost always arrive in my heart and gut together. Tomorrow we are driving with some friends to get together with 8 college friends. When I was in college, I didn't have any weight issues, but I certainly had other issues.... such as a non-stop mouth and a desire to please everyone. When I get together with the people from that time in my life, those habits I worked so hard in therapy to understand and change sometimes come roaring back to the surface.... that's the anxiety. The excitement is that one of the group was my roommate for two years and part of a group of 8 of us that roomed together all four years in a variety of configurations. One couple who live here in town were not close friends at college, but have become very dear friends in the past 35 years as we went through child birth and rearing, loss of parents and many holidays spent together. I just need to relax, remember that everyone isn't fascinated by what I am doing and I don't have to prove I exist in a meaningful way by loudly proclaiming my activities and successes. I can sit back and enjoy the warmth of friendship, of shared experiences and just be in the moment.
I'll post tomorrow or the next day to let you know how things went.